Thy Will Be Done....

Several times in the past 2 weeks I have sat down to write about my life these days only to write for an hour and then just cut and paste it to my journal because it is just too much. I will try again tonight. I am my dad's daughter and I like to organize thus the bullets...

• I felt in my heart of hearts from the day after Dad told us about the cancer that this cancer was going to take him. Of all my family I felt I was the only who felt this way and it was a horrible I-have-no-faith, I-am-a-pessimist feeling. I believed that because I knew this that when the cancer did take him it would be easier for me. I was terribly wrong.
• For six months all of the family was praying and pleading that Dad would get well and we always would add Thy will be done. We wanted whatever the Lord wanted for Dad and therefore our family. I believe that His will was done but I must say that it is much easier said than done.
• I believed that because my dad has been sick for 7-8 years with this cancer (unbeknown to us all) he started to withdraw from us a bit. We were used to him not being around sometimes. I thought that would help prepare us for him being gone. I was wrong.
• I truly believe until we have lost someone close to us it is hard to understand the term mourn with those that mourn. I will do better in the future.
• I have learned that it is ok to cry when I am sad.
• My testimony has grown trememdously. I know that there is a Comforter that we are entitled to if we will but ask. I know that the Spirit World is just a step away, closer than we could imagine. I know that Christ lives and that we will see our loved ones again.
• My heart breaks for those who go through this experience without the knowledge of the plan of salvation.
• This is hard, really hard.
• Laughter still comes. Talking is good. Everyday gets a bit better. Laundry still sucks. (Pardon my french!)