Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Vacation of a Lifetime (VoaL) Day #1

Now, lest I have a massive revolt of my 4 loyal readers I am only going to hit the highlights of each day. Please realize these are highlights according to moi so other travelers may disagree but really they can get their own blogs.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Travel Day
What was on the itinerary:Fly from SLC to Houston, fly from Houston to Miami, check in to the hotel, get some sleep.

What actually happened:
Left late because Tricia had to go to the bank to get more money for her "Buy Shoes in Every Port" fund.
Allison informed us all that she planned on doing genealogy while on the cruise. Not in the top 10 most likelies to do on a cruise. At least not in my book. Or any other travel book.

Arrived in Houston.Here is what happened there that I thought was noteworthy.
  • After landing we taxied over a freeway. I thought that was strange.
  • Andrew was born in Houston. He lived there for 3 MONTHS and then we moved and he has never been back. Upon arrival at the Houston airport he announced "It is good to be home!" He continued through the airport telling us all about how the airport has changed so much since he left. It was bigger and there were many new concourses that he observed. His wife was not amused. The rest of us were.
  • Since Andrew was a native we had him translate whenever someone from Texas spoke to us. Honestly there were times he couldn't understand them despite it being his home turf.
  • Jenn had a cookie and a pretzel for dinner. The posters hanging in front of the booths looked good to her. She was sorely disappointed. I had a Greek Salad that was really tasty. So tasty I went back on the return trip a week later. They didn't remember me though. odd.
  • We had to walk to the furthest possible gate from where we started. I think it was like Gate X509.
  • Walking through the airport was another reminder of how competitive my family can be because the airports has the moving sidewalks and of course it had to be a race between people to see if standing on the moving sidewalk was actually faster than walking at a brisk pace (ie jogging). This happened several times. (We walked a long way remember)
Left Houston for Miami
  • Houston did not like how I had packed my bag. So picture this. A long line at security and me at the front of the line laying on my bag trying to close a stupid zipper. I already knew it fit but apparently Mr. I don't speak your language Texan Security Guy didn't care. (Andrew did try to translate)
  • In flight entertainment...
  • Andrew sitting next to a Loud Talker the entire flight. We thought she was hilarious talking at the top of her lungs. The best was she talked on her cell phone before we took off and after we landed. Loudly. "WELL, WE HAVE LANDED. (pause) NO. WE ARE STILL IN THE PLANE. (pause) WHAT? (pause) NO WE HAVE LANDED BUT I HAVEN'T GOT OFF THE PLANE YET." Apparently she doesn't quite know how to use her phone so she kept asking Andrew to redial for her. It was hilarious. However after the flight we heard from Andrew and Jenn that it was horrible because she had a severe case of halitosis. It made Andrew want to pass out!
  • We also had a large group of soon to be cruisers in front of us who proceeded to get somewhat drunk a little sooner than most cruisers. They were obnoxious and loud and we spent most of that flight hoping and praying that they weren't on the same cruise as us.
Arrival in Miami
  • Got on the shuttle to our hotel and the driver stopped at a second group to tell them he would be back for them in a few minutes. IT WAS THE DRUNK GROUP FROM OUR FLIGHT! They were now following us to the same hotel. This did not bode well.
  • We checked into our lovely hotel. We had a suite. It was sweet.
  • We met up with Brad, Sara, Mitch and Haley who had arrived the day before us. They were just coming in from a Coke run. Apparently the cruise only offers Pepsi products and so Brad bought about 6 cases of Coke Zero. When those 4 came walking in the lobby with several cases it looked like they were heading of to a really tame and sugar free kegger.
  • We heard of a funny story about how Mitch and Haley couldn't check in because their room was under Brad's name and they weren't with Brad. The clerk was a trainee and kept answering the phone instead of helping them and Mitch finally lost patience and used a very bad word. Like *$%@ type words. It became a big joke to us so if you ever hear of us saying "I'm going to go all trainee on you!" You now know what we mean. It is similar to going postal. Minus the killing. Here is a picture of the actual lobby where Mitch went all trainee! Poor little trainee.
  • We arrived at about 11:00 at night so the plan as you may recall was to get some sleep. Instead we arranged to meet at the hot tub. So Brandon apparently was already a bit woozy from the rocking of the ship ( I know we weren't actually on the ship yet but he needs an excuse of some kind). He was so woozy from the rocking that en route to the hot tub he fell into the pool. The pool was not heated. It was freezing cold. So the hot tub felt great to all of us coming from 25 degree weather people but it felt especially good to Brandon.
  • We eventually headed to our rooms where Dave and I overheard first a rather candid, enlightening and altogether TMI coversation regarding the condition of one of my brothers bowels. Not a good way to end the first day. But we did laugh a lot.

11 comments:

Brenny said...

That was so entertaining and you weren't even on the cruise yet! I can't wait for the rest of the days. Man, it makes me want to take a vacation.

Tiffany said...

I find you and your family thoroughly entertaining.

Jacqui said...

I can't wait for the next installment because if those were the only funny memories of your vacation, they would have been worth it!

Sheri said...

This begs to be made into a book!!

Julie said...

I want to go on a vacation with you!

Stephanie said...

I am sitting in my office just laughing hysterically. I cannot wait for the rest. I can only imagine what the cruise will bring. I love Dave's pirate outfit.

Angie said...

That was funny! I can't wait for Vol. 2.

Jenn said...

Are you cramping?

Tricia said...

Funny Jenn... Okay Kelli, I gave you a week. Time for day 2!

Vickers Family said...

you are so funny! i wish I could tell stories like you!!! It sounds like you guys all had a really great time.

Todd and Melissa said...

I'm confused! My blog says you posted Day 2, but I can't find it anywhere!!!!