Give Thanks!

Dad is home! He came home today. He is off the oxygen and is eating on his own! I went over to see him and he was in his chair, watching a game and looking great! I got tears in my eyes it was so natural! We are all going to get together tonight to celebrate!

We are so grateful for the blessing of having him make it through the surgery and recovery. I have felt so blessed that we get to have him around for another season!

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. I know I did! I cooked the TURKEY this year for the 1st time. Thanks to my chef/accountant brother-in-law, Paul, I did a great job. It was a great dinner and we all wrote down that we were grateful for this year. It has been another wonderful year.

I said that I was grateful for times spent with family. I love all my many families and am always happy to be around them. We took a delightful vacation (with some) and have had a few game nights, girls night out, movie nights, birthday celebrations and family fasts.

It is amazing how through this time with Dad I have experienced the feeling of "having their hears knit together with unity and love, one towards another" towards all of you. I love the feeling of working toward a common goal and I was thinking how I really should feel that all the time. We all are (hopefully) working toward a common goal of being together for the eternities. No matter where we live, how much we earn, how often we meet or even what team we cheer for we are supposed to have our hearts knit together. What a wonderful time to practice for the next life. I am grateful that I have you all! Love you!

Two steps forward...

Well Dad took a little step back. Apparently since he has been vomiting everytime he eats he has aspirated it into his lungs. So as of yesterday he has needed more oxygen again and he is only on the feeding tube. No liquids, no food, nothing. Bummer. We are thinking if he can clear his lungs quick and be able to get onto real foods quick he may still make it home for Thanksgiving. Keep him in your prayers!

Love you all

Kelli

Progress!

We have seen a lot of progress these last few days! Dad has eaten real food. He is off the epidural. All the IV's are out of his arms. He is off the catheter. He is out of ICU!

I got to be there on Monday morning when we took him to the 4th floor. Dr. Collins (the surgeon) came and told him "We need this bed for a sick person". What great news! He has been able to shower, sleep better, talk on the phone and see grandkids, neighbors and feel a bit more human.

He and Mom met with the oncologist yesterday and he told them he has never seen a larger blood clot than they one that was complicating Dad's recovery! We are so grateful that he was able to survive that nasty clot. He is so blessed.

Sometimes I forget about the cancer part. The surgery and the recovery have been so horrible. He has been on the brink of death more times than I would like to think about He is doing so well now that I sometimes breath a sigh of relief and think "He made it!" I forget. I forget that we are in the beginning of this ordeal not nearing the end. After the oncologists visit Mom told me about the process for chemo (which they will do before the radiation) once a week for six weeks then a little time off and then another once a week for six weeks episode. Then they will start the radiation. Wow.

It would be easier just to forget. It is amazing how all the other things in life march on. Homework, piano, PTA, YW, basketball, soccer, EQ, meals, and especially laundry go on and on. I am glad though. It is important to have some normalcy (although I could really do without the laundry!). I am glad that Mom has work and church to do. She is tired but at least she gets away from heart rates, oxygen saturation and caloric intakes for a little while. It could suck you dry! I was glad to see the other day that a social worker was stopping by an a regular basis to talk to them both.

I have been so grateful for good friends, good neighbors and a terrific family support base for both my parents and myself. I know both my mom and my dad have been blessed by the many prayers said in their behalf. Thank you. Thank you. You darling wonderful people!

Love, Kelli

Rollercoasters II

The trip was full of roller coaster rides the physical ones I could handle a lot better than the emotional roller coaster we were on that week also.

The best news came on Sunday when Alli called and said she felt like she needed to go home to Utah to be with Mom! That was such a blessing to us all. I was feeling bad about deserting Mom for the week and Alli was literally an answer to prayer. We all talked to Dad on Tuesday before he went into the hospital. Alli arrived that day and surprised them. On Wednesday we were all feeling rather anxious at Disneyland. As Tricia mentioned it is no longer the Happiest Place on Earth.

We talked to Mom and Alli several times during the day and we heard that the surgery was going well but it was going to take longer than they thought. We finally heard from them while I was on the carousel in Fantasyland. Mom called and said "Kelli, this is a bad cancer" She then started crying which made me scared so I started bawling and then Andrew saw me crying and he burst into tears and then Mom just stopped talking. Alli got on the phone and shared with me the news.

The cancer was a lot larger than they first suspected. They had to take 30% of the stomach and 80% of the esophagus. The stomach is now right under the collar bone. The cancer was in the lymph nodes and they took some bone marrow to see if it is in the bone. The surgeon told them that 10 years ago he would have seen that much cancer and would have just closed him back up. He said that he took all the tissue surrounding the esophagus including the infected tissue around the aorta. He said it was probable that it was was a 2 or 3. He said that he got all the visible cancer but he is positive that there is still microscopic cancer in Dad's body. He will have to have radiation.

It was a hard blow. We had thought it was a level 1 and that they would for sure get it all in the surgery. I had a hard time the rest of the day. Alli called later that night after seeing him and told us that he looked horrible. He had tubes coming from everywhere. We later found out that Mom was so upset she couldn't even talk to us. She wondered why we had done this to Dad. It was a hard day for our family.

Thursday was better. Mom told us that they had Dad sitting up and dangling his legs.

Friday was good also. They got a good surprise. Sara and the kids had jumped in the car and they were with Mom and Dad. Dad was still making progress.

Saturday he was transferred to a regular room out of ICU. Brad flew in and was with them now also. Dad walked to the elevator and was doing better.

Sunday Tricia and Mom went in and Dad was sitting in a chair. Tricia did his hair and put his socks on him and talked to him for a while and then he said was tired and wanted to sleep. He went to be and almost immediately started to go downhill. The nurse rushed in and they started trying to get him some oxygen. They tried a few different things and couldn't get his oxygen levels back up. Mom called Brad, Andrew and Mitch and told them to come give him a blessing. They transferred him back to ICU and the boys gave him a quick blessing. The doctors were all gathered around and discussing what was going on. Everyone but Mom left to come home and they said he had done a complet 180 from the day before. I called Mom and she was crying and was very frightened so Mitch and Haley and I rushed back in to be with her. They figured out that it was a pulmonary embolism in his lung. They were worried about other clots. They did a CT scan and then took him over to Angio. They said they had found several clots in both his legs and also a really scary one teetering on his pulmonary artery that could go to his lung or to his brain. In angio they went up through his vein and put in a filter below his diaphragm that would hopefully catch all blood clots coming from his legs.

A few days later we found out that it was so serious that the doctors had almost had to open up his chest to clear the lungs. The secondary worry that night was they needed to thin his blood. They were worried about the epidural bleeding under the skin which could press against his spine and cause him to lose feeling in his legs. The epidural is a good form of pain management and it makes it easier to breathe deeply since they don't feel the pain. The morphine alternative would make it more difficult to breathe which would cause more complications. After weighing the options the doctors decided to leave the epidural and to start the Heperin (blood thinner).

The nurse came out at about 6 and told Mom to come help Dad take a pill to help him relax. I was finally able to go in and see him. He looked like a scared little boy. He is frightened and confused. One of the side effects of oxygen deprivation is decreased mental abilities. He was loopy. He didn't want to take the pill. Mom went in and told him that she loved him, his kids loved him, his grandkids loved him and that she wasn't ready for him to go home to his parents. She reminded him of how he promised to fight hard. Then she convinced him to take the pill. He was finally able to rest and slept for the rest of the evening. I stayed with him while Mom ran home to get a change of clothes. He slept most of the time and I sat and held his hand. It was amazing to sit there quietly and let the memories of my big, tough, strong father wash over me while I held the hand of this smaller, weak, scared man. I love him and am not ready to lose him.

Early this week the doctor talked to Mom and Dad and gave them the results of the tests. The cancer has not spread to the bones!! Yea! It is in the lymph nodes and it is rated a stage 3a. So much worse than we thought! Dad will have to have chemotherapy and radiation. He was a little disinheartened at the news. He didn't know it was that bad. I really believe if he had known it was a 3 he would not have done the surgery. I hope that not knowing the truth and going through with the surgery will be a blessing to us!

The last three days have been a continuation of that rollercoaster ride. He has been on bed rest because they were worried about the teetering clot. We are now mainly worried about his oxygen levels. He is at 100% for a few hours then down to 55% then back to 100% the next day. On Tuesday he was able to sit up and even have a few ice chips. Mitch & Haley were dad sitting Wednesday night and had him watching a Jazz game and we were glad to hear of dad doing something normal. Wednesday he had his barium test to see if the seals between esophagus and stomach are tight. The test was great. If his oxygen level was higher he would be able to drink but they gave him a little bit of grape juice Thursday morning is all. He did walk today again which is great. He is getting better just not as fast as we would like!

It is amazing to see my courageous dad fight his way through this trial. My mom is the epitomy of faith and my brothers and sisters are a constant support to both of them and to me. I am glad I not on this ride all alone!