Happy are we!

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree...

2011-12-01T19:16:00.001-08:00

Today was quite the adventure. Good ole Davis County had HUGE winds today and it wreaked havoc on our neighborhood and our little home was no exception. Our home was apparently fine at 5:00 am when Dave left. At 7:00 when I was kicking my high schooler out to catch the bus he opened the door and said "Hey, our tree fell down." I honestly thought it was a procrastination attempt so I said in my lovely cheerful mother voice..."Whatever, go catch the bus." He was so shocked that I didn't believe him that I actually went to the door and looked. According to my kids I gasped and said my traditional "Oh my stars! Call your father!" So here is what our house looked like.

My house is behind that tree. If you look closely you can see the garage on the left and the roof on the right. So just in time for Christmas we have a new Christmas tree! If only we could get out of our house we could throw some lights on it and call it good!

But wait! There's more! In the true spirit of Christmas we shared our joy with our neighbors by gifting them a beautiful tree also! You are welcome, neighbor!

Here is the another view of the tree.

Our fantastic Emergency Crew and our Amazing Neighbors took great care of us and after the wind finally died down they came and helped clear the one tree from the front of the house!

They were so helpful and we were so appreciative of their kind service and strong muscles.

And here is the spectator gallery. Just teasing they worked hard also! It was a huge job but they made fast work of it! What a grand adventure!

We are out of power at my house so I came over to dry some clothes at Mom's. I will write more later!

What does this mean?

2011-10-24T12:03:00.000-07:00

I am not exactly sure what to do. or think. Today after I got the kids off to school I did dishes and laundry and straightening. I then sat around and watched movies and ate bonbons because that is what Dave thinks I do every day. (By the way you will be happy to hear they now sell bonbons at Costco.)

Then I showered, brushed my teeth, did my hair and very carefully applied some makeup. I got dressed in somewhat fashionable clothes. I did this not only because it is important for hygiene and my mental health but I had a meeting with at the Jr. High with the counselor.

Today was a very important day for Aaron because today at the ripe old age of 13 we proceeded to plan out his entire life including high school, college and future career. I didn't want you to be in suspense for the next 15 years so I thought I would just announce it now. He is going to be a Dentist, Or a Sports Trainer. Or an Investigator. Maybe.

I would like to tell you that I went into this interview having discussed with him before all of his desires, talents and interests thoroughly. But I didn't. I just tried to get there on time, be in the right place and be presentable. I just needed them to know that I am a "concerned, loving and stable" parent. I thought that was sufficient even for this very important occasion.

When I got home I was shocked to see that I failed to even meet those simple goals.

This was what I had on.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
Don't even ask about the next 3 THREE places I went. I am not ready to talk about it.

So I must ask.
Does this mean that my next step is to go out with curlers in my hair and wearing a house dress.
Do they even make house dresses anymore?
What is a house dress?
Do I wear a kerchief over the curlers or just go?
Should I just prearrange that my skirt is tucked up in my pantyhose?
Blouse inside out or right side in?

These are the fashion decisions that I must ponder.

PS I think I will blame my counselor in 8th grade. She should have seen this coming. She should have prepared me better.

Dirty Dash!

2011-10-05T07:37:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago Dave, Josh and most of my siblings and my mom had a unique Saturday morning. They participated in the Dirty Dash. The Dirty Dash is a 10K race. Now it is not your typical race because this race is all about the dirt. Wet dirt to be exact. MUD.

The course is mud, slides, water, marshes, snow, and other obstacles all wrapped into 6.2 miles of fun! The race took place in beautiful Soldier Hollow where some of the Olympic events took place 9 years ago.

Mitch and Haley were voted most creative for their costumes. Of course I was the only one voting.

Here is Mitch as Superman! Notice the cute curl!

Here is the clean crew at the beginning of the race. The t-shirts say We're Great but No One Knows It. It was our family theme about 30 years ago. It came from a Girl's Camp song. Please notice Jacob's short shorts. Very 1980's Jacob.

You start the race by hiking up a huge mud hill which was very slippery. Apparently Josh was tackled in the first few minutes by Andrew. At the top of the hill they sprayed all the racers with a fire hose. So you were cold from the very beginning.

Not too dirty yet. The middle kids. B. Rad, Alli and Andrew. (Tricia doesn't count as a middle because she thought she was my twin from the very beginning)

Tricia is doing some kind of Dirty Dash strut here. They were hiking through one of the muddy rivers.

A big mud hole in the road. Part of the fun was you never knew how deep the puddle was at any given point. You could be walking next to someone and they disappear up to their neck. See how muddy Andrew is compared to Brandon.

Alli with some stylin glasses. She was the brave one who took a camera in several ziploc baggies so we could have some pictures of the actual race. Thanks Alli.

Here is one of the least favorite obstacles. You had to climb through the mud filled tube. That wasn't the bad part.

The bad part was that on the other end they were spraying out snow from their snow maker machine. They were freezing cold at this point.

They look happy here. You will see that in the background there is a woman running. Some people took this race very seriously.

Here you had to either climb over or under these walls. This is Alli going under but trying to keep as clean as possible.

Here are the boys. You can see that even when it is not an obstacle it is still a big mud slop of a road.

This was their least favorite part of the course. These are sewer pipes that they are crawling over. Thye determined this by the horrible smell all around them! Of course this is the place that Alli slipped into a hole and went in over her head! NAAAASSSTTTYY!

Here is the snack station. Yum! Muddy jello.

One of the last obstacles is the giant slide. Only Dave flew down this thing. Everyone else had to inch their way down. (This isn't actually Dave flying. People can't fly.)

The kids waited at the big mud pond at the finish line.

They collected water balloons to throw at their parents. They were so excited!

The racers all waited for each other at the slide so they could finish together. The first ones in were Josh and Jacob. (Of course)

Jenn, B. Rad, Tricia, Andrew, Brandon and Dave were next. I love how Tricia seems to be trying to be careful going in. She didn't want to get dirty I suppose...

The last ones in were Haley, Alli, Mom and Mitch.

Wow. Mom. You really do not fit in with this crowd! They are all smiles though except Dave.

You see Dave couldn't see. He was completely blind. He didn't even know which way to go to get out.

B. Rad, Brandon (Who lost a contact)

Jenn, Mitch,

Josh, my baby,

Mom and Tricia

Dave still blind. Mom.

Mitch, Alli, Tricia

Jenn, Andrew.

Mitch and Haley

Here is the after photo.

What a fun day for us all! Thanks Sara and B.Rad!

Now I am going to post the full video (3 minutes) on youtube for the family to see how lovely they look. It is too big for blogger. But I need to preface by telling you that I was holding 2 cameras. One took all of the pictures that you see above. The other was my attempt to film but it was really more of a chest cam. The video camera just rested on my chest and whatever it captures is what you get. I edited out my running because it would have just made you motion sick.

LOTOJA 2011!

2011-09-27T06:46:00.000-07:00

I had quite a unique experience a few weeks ago! I got to do LOTOJA. I know!! So amazing, right? LOTOJA for those who don't know is a huge bike race that takes you from LOgan TO JAckson in Wyoming. It is a 206 mile trek but Tricia and I did more like 400.

I would like to think that we are just total overachievers but really we were not actually riding bikes. We were driving the support vehicle. So my question is if I was only support crew WHY DO I HAVE A BLISTER?! Apparently I can get blisters just by watching others exercise! We were the support crew for B. Rad and a couple of his friends from work.

Here is our story: I met Tricia at her house late Friday evening to start our trek up to meet B. Rad in Logan. So the first thing out of her mouth is... "I am so nervous!". I started laughing because that is just how I was feeling. We joked that we were going to need a blessing just to get us through this. We laughed so hard imagining B. Rad's face if we arrived and asked him to get a friend to help give us both a blessing. Because, after all, we are going to have to drive a lot of miles tomorrow. Rough stuff.

So we get there and B. Rad tries to make us feel better by giving us a rundown of what he needs at which stop and who might be with him and what he may need and how to provide for any emergency. So he basically scares us enough that I can't sleep very well (or it could have been the spring in my back and the air conditioner that sounded like a jet taking off every time it turned on).
The next morning was hectic as we tried to get cleaned up and ready to go by 5:30. We packed up and headed to the car where B. Rad attempted to introduce to the group as they were riding away to the starting line. He was kind of distracted (we assumed it was because Tricia and I had a lot of driving to do) so it wasn't a very thorough introduction.

OFFICIAL RACE STUFF: It all started Saturday morning bright and early. Actually it was more dark and early. Here is a group at the starting line. We assumed that the boys were in there somewhere. After they left we had a little over 12 hours to the finish line. Lucky for you that gives me just oodles of time to tell you all the funny stuff that was happening in the background.
Kelli & Tricia: So we get in the car to go and realize we have NO IDEA what we are doing! We had these men tossing stuff in the car and telling us what they needed when they got to the first stop. So we are calling the boys by different names that mainly have to do with what we were handed to carry for them. Gallon guy, Picky Drinker, Guy Who Didn't Tell Us Anything and B. Rad.

ORS: The boys raced from Logan to Preston ID for their first stop. They had to go 34 miles.
K&T:We run by Walmart for some ice and sandwich bags. Then head to Preston. We get there and have to park 4 blocks from the park where the stop will be and then we gather together food, drinks and gear for 5 different men. We had no idea who needed what so we packed the entire car onto our backs and started tracking it all to the park. I had to run back later for the camera only to forget to take any pictures at this stop. The only picture I took was this one of Tricia running in place because we were freezing cold.

The riders wear ankle bracelets that track them and keep track of their times and log them in when they reach certain checkpoints. The cool thing is that as they pass the checkpoint it will send a text to the support crew. The bad thing is that the support crew has no idea where the actual checkpoint is... So I get a text saying B. Rad is in Preston so we get all geared up to switch water bottles but B. Rad doesn't come. 10 minutes later we are starting to think that he missed a turn and led the entire group off course.
We saw one guy with an Adobe jersey but since we didn't know actual names we just yelled "ADOBE"! Um, Yeah, he wasn't part of the group so we just felt like creepy Adobe fans.
It was interesting to see the different riders and support crews interact. There was one woman with 4 little kids, 1 strapped on her chest. Her husband came riding up and she grumpily said "I don't have any water". He gently replied "That is alright. Do you have any Gatorade?" "No. You didn't pack it in the right bag." Without blinking an eye he said "Ok I guess I will just keep going then." He kissed his children and rode off. SO SAD!
More experienced support crews had signs, balloons, whistles and they also had prearranged to meet at certain zones that were numbered for the convenience of finding your group. We had no prearranged meeting spot so we hung out at the bathrooms. It worked. They came and we laid out all of the contents of the back of the car although some of them were confused by the jack and soccer ball. (so we may have brought too much stuff) There were a couple of new guys. We were never introduced to them but we did end up with some guys shirt and gloves. It was crazy to say the least. They were in good spirits and excited to be heading out!

ORS: The race would now take them 46 miles to Montpelier, ID. 60% of this leg is uphill with some very steep sections. (7% grade) Tough leg. Weeds out many. Here is the elevation map showing the climb.

K&T: The boys rode 46 miles we did over 80! We drove on dirt roads through farms and over dells. We rode in a very large caravan and were very grateful they had watered down the roads so we weren't choking on each others dust.

We pulled into Montpelier (feed zone 3)and found a place within 2 blocks of the park. We brought everything (except the jack and soccer ball) again because we didn't know who we were in charge of supporting at this stop. This time we had arranged to meet them at zone 4. We tried to find the other support crews so we could hand off all the extra stuff but we didn't know how to find them other than walking around yelling HEY ADOBE SUPPORT CREW?!? That would be silly.

The boys came soon and they were hot and tired from their big climb but they were anxious to be off on their next leg.

Our journey consisted of many hours of driving followed by a few frantic minutes of refilling bottles, handing out snacks and sending riders on their way again. Montpelier was where we gained a new rider to "take care of". The guy who handed us his clothes told his support gal to get his box of stuff and give it to us because he was staying with us. I would like to think it was because of our superior support crew ways but it was really because he planned on staying with B. Rad and Verl. New Guy we called him (I think we figured out his name was Conrad when his old support crew handed us a big box of supplies that said "Conrad". We were cursing his name as we hauled an extra box of supplies back to the car.

ORS: The next leg for our racers was 46 miles of uphill horror. There are two huge steep climbs and the last climb is call King of the Mountain. The hard part of this climb is that most boys train by going on century rides (100 miles). They hit 100 miles in this ride right before the King of the Mountain Climb.

K&T:Tricia and I started out on our way to meet the boys in Afton. We knew that the next leg would be killer but we were excited because for the first time the blue line (cars) got to ride on the same road as the red line (bikers). We met up with Team Adobe after their first summit and on the lower part of the second summit before Feed Zone 4. We tried to take pictures.

This first one shows the Adobe's Team favorite group. Team Give. Let me explain. When groups of riders travel together the leader can actually "pull" the people directly behind them. The racers talk about how they can be pushing as hard as they can and only going about 17 mph but if they tuck in behind someone else they can speed up to 25 with less effort. Team members take turns "pulling" their group so that is why in races like this they travel in packs. So for the Adobe team they tucked in behind Team Give. They really like the name and thought next year they would rename themselves "Team Take" because they really appreciated being pulled by Team Give. Glad we got a picture.

Here is a familiar behind! That is B. Rad! We drove by and cheered and then stopped and took more pictures and then drove by again. We loved riding near them.

So after driving past them several times we realized we were climbing some steep hills and we started to worry because these were REALLY STEEP HILLS. We started to see bikers who were obviously struggling and many pained expressions.

Tricia took this photo of the Adobe group and said "Look B. Rad is smiling." Then we zoomed in on his face and realized it was more of a grimace than a smile. (fourth guy back)

Shoot. Our sisterly concern kicked in and we were worried because we wanted him to succeed but man it did not look fun. We decided that he may get to a point where having us following him and taking pictures may not be what he needs at this point so we decided to head to Afton. But we wanted to do something so we sent a text to Mom and told her to pray for B. Rad.
We kept driving and it kept getting steeper and steeper and around every corner we kept saying certainly this will be the summit but no it wasn't and then we reached the bottom of King of the Mountain. Holy craparoli! We hadn't even started on the steepest part. We quietly climbed the mountain and headed down to Afton.
We found a sweet parking place and headed to zone 4. We met another zone 4 family. This time the Dad came in and the family was so excited for him. He came riding up and proceeded to tell them that he "totally rocked that!". Another guy came in and his support crew was more like a pit crew. He pulled up and boom, bang, bing. 2 new water bottles on the bike, new food in his pouches and off he rode. Under 30 seconds. Incredible. Then the good news. We got a text from B. Rad that they had reached the summit! Woo hoo! Good news indeed. We were so thrilled for them. A while later they rode into town.

They were very excited that they had made it. They were pretty high! Well deserved I must say!

ORS: 34 miles to Alpine. No big climbs but a huge headwind and rumble strips are the big obstacles on this leg.
They headed off to Alpine and we got a drink and headed off after them. We chased them for a while and took more photos. Here is B. Rad pulling his group.

We kept telling him to look at us but he said he would run into the guard rail. Sounds like he needs to work on his steering. Just saying.

We pulled into Alpine and I have to tell you the Dad who totally rocked the last leg looked like he was on his last leg. He was off his bike and sitting on an ice pack, had ice around his neck and ice on both his knees. It was so sad but it was a good reminder that though the big climbs may be over there is still a lot of riding to do.

Here is B. Rad pulling into Alpine. Here the request from the boys was for some Coke. They were really tired of Gatorade and Electrolyte water. Both Verl and B. Rad said their feet hurt and took their shoes off for a minute. I totally understood because this is when I realized I had a blister on my foot. I didn't tell them because I am not one to complain. That's just how I roll.
ORS: Final leg from Alpine to Jackson Hole. This is the beautiful leg. Slightly uphill all the way in but the views of the Teton's are magnificent.

So you see the blue car line that is NOT with the red bike line. Well we followed the blue line. Apparently we were the ONLY car that followed the map because we were all alone in the beautiful canyon we drove through but after being in a huge caravan all day it seemed a bit strange and made us doubt we were even on the right road! We did finally made it to the finish line! Woo hoo! We rock. Kind of.
We waited there for a while and at long last we saw our little group coming in. Here is the video of it but you should probably turn down your volume because we were excited for the big finish!

Here is the Adobe group Justin, Shawn, B. Rad, Conrad, Verl and Jonathan. I think. I am pretty sure about B. Rad and Verl. They finished at about 12 hours 23 minutes I do believe and I am pretty sure that it was because they had an awesome support crew!

Seriously though. B. Rad. You done good. You rocked it. You finished strong. You were awesome and we couldn't have been more excited and proud of you! Well done.

I Wish Every Day was the First Day!

2011-08-22T06:57:00.001-07:00

Today was the first day of school here in the Land Bountiful! After the flurry of morning activities I was reflecting back on the morning and how organized and smooth it went.

Today I sent everyone off on time. Early even.

They got up either the first time I called them or before I called them!

They all had the necessary supplies ready to go. They all had matching clothes and clean socks! They knew exactly where their shoes were.

They were showered, brushed, and all those who should were wearing deodorant! In other words, very well groomed!

We had family prayer, family scripture study and a healthy breakfast.

They practiced the piano, read their scriptures for 10 minutes, straightened their rooms and wiped down the bathrooms.

And the best part? Their attitude! They were pleasant and kind!

"Happy first day of school my brothers!" Ok that was Joe which is pretty normal for him.

"I love you" (To each other? A minor miracle, folks)

"Thanks for my new clothes Mom"

"Thanks for breakfast"

"I love my new shoes"

"Don't worry Mom. I will take care of him"

Now lest you think that I am either on drugs or living in a fantasy world I will be honest. It is not like this every day! In fact I bet in less than two weeks reality will set in and this will be my morning.

Waking everyone up at least 3 times each with the final attempt heavy with threats.

Telling them to brush something. Might not have time for both hair and teeth.

Advising them to wear the same socks from yesterday. How dirty could they be after all?

Handing them a piece of toast with a promise that you will pray for them when I have a second.

Don't even get me started on my um er I mean their attitude on those mornings.

So do you see why I wish every day was the first day of school?

I Should be So Lucky!

2011-07-29T07:21:00.000-07:00

I hope that when I have lived almost 90 years that I can look back on a life so well lived that I find myself able to sit on my future headstone and laugh.

That is what these two were able to do. Last Memorial Day (2010), we went see their new bench as they called it. It is a nice bench and so considerate for them to give the rest of us a place to rest when we come to visit their resting place!

Here on the corner of Cedar and 11th!

I would feel very blessed also if I could still be doing this in 50 years.

I already feel blessed because these two have been teaching me, supporting me and loving me for my entire life. I want to be just like them when I grow up.

In my defense.

2011-07-24T19:45:00.000-07:00

So I haven't posted a new post in a very long. But I was looking through my post list and in my defense I have 7 drafts since the last time I posted. So at least 7 times I have started a post.

Here are the titles...

So Not Ready for This One.

The Broken Record.

One Thing to Cross off the list.

65!

I Should be so Lucky.

The Elusive Perfect Day.

Untitled Post.

So I have given myself credit for those 7 posts. I hope you enjoyed them.

Tonight I pledge to finish at least one of those posts in the next few days. Which one should it be? Hmm.

I Wish!

2011-03-28T10:30:00.000-07:00

You know how some webmail services will provide a list of those in your contacts who are currently online to "Chat". You know... it will say "Andrew Rcncher is available to chat" and you can type in" Hey Andrew!" and then sit there for about 15 minutes while he figures out how the computer knows his name and why it is now trying to talk to him and eventually just calls you on your phone to reply.

So a few days ago I was checking my email and up pops "Irv Rencher is available to chat." And I have to admit that for 1/100th of a second I celebrated. Then I realized that Mom still uses their joint email so it really wasn't a message from Heaven. But for that split second I had hundreds of things to say.

Hey Dad! Are you there?
I miss you.
How is Heaven?
Joe lost a balloon the other day. As it floated heavenward he said through his tears "At least Grandpa will have a fun thing to play with." Did you get the balloon?
BYU lost. Do you care anymore or is that so "before death"?
So do you see Grandma and Grandpa Rencher a lot? Say howdy from me.
How was the reunion between Uncle Horace and John? I bet that was sweet!
Are you happy?
Do you know that I think you were a great dad?
Your sons miss you very much. They don't like to talk about it though.
Dad, I am sorry I tried to send you on a guilt trip the last time we talked. I just wanted you to get better. Will you forgive me?
Are you on Facebook? It would be nice if you were. Just post an update now and then.
Your grandsons are getting so big. Keep an eye on them will you. I worry.
Could you tell me one thing that you love about me? Like you used to on my birthday. If you want to tell me a few I won't mind.
You married an amazing woman. Thank you for agreeing to leave her with us for another 40 years.
I smelled sawdust the other day and thought of you. I love that smell.
Thank you for teaching me that is ok to laugh at myself. And also how to change a tire.
I love you.
I miss you, Dad.

Act Like Nothing has Happened

2011-03-15T14:11:00.001-07:00

So I have determined that if I attempt to play catch up and write about everything that has been going in the last several months then I will never blog again. So we are going to move forward and pretend like I never stopped and that I have written many uplifting, hilarious and informative posts about life. Besides if I write about the past too much my favorite Nathan will mock me. A lot.

Wow, what a weekend!

If you want the short version. Jonathan had a big stick go through his hand. Long ER visit. He is fine now.

If you want the really long version. Here it is.

My 3 oldest and I went to see the Scarlet Pimpernel performed at my ole Alma Mater. Lucky for us we went with a small portion of my family. Family is good.

The musical (which is one of my favorites, but really in retrospect what musical do I not like) was delightful. I noticed in the program that a friend that I graduated with was listed in the program as a helper so after I sought her out and was chatting about life when it happened.

Let me preface by saying that I have boys. Boys that like to climb. They will climb anything. This night was no exception. While I was chatting with my friend the boys were attempting to climb the walls. The walls there are made of an old, old wood in a bead board type fashion. So Jonathan, my 10 year old, was being lifted up to reach the upper lip of this wall by his older brother. Once he reached the lip his brother let him go to hang. Well he hung for only a moment before slipping down the wall.

As he slipped down a small piece of wood entered into the bottom of his hand but it became bigger and bigger and longer and longer before it eventually broke off. It exited a few inches above the entrance wound. When Aaron's yelling and Jonathan’ ashen face finally convinced me to come over and see it the stick reached several inches beyond his fingertips and was about the diameter of a sharpie. It looked awful.

I grabbed his wrist to try to stop the bleeding and told my mom that we needed to go. Literally my first thought was how am I going to hold his hand and drive at the same time.

We walked out into the foyer and within 2 seconds there was a man introducing himself as Dr. Strong and telling us that he was an ER doc. He looked at it and decided that the stick needed to come out so that we could put pressure on the wounds. He pulled out the top and at that point I thought Aaron would faint. Yep not Jonathan but Aaron. Then he pulled at the part of the stick remaining and sticking out the bottom of his hand. At this point I told Josh to go get me a bunch of toilet paper. The doctor then pulled out the bottom part and boy did he bleed then! We got a wad of toilet paper from Josh and a dishtowel from Tricia and staunched the bleeding. Don’t ask why Tricia had a dish towel at the musical but there is a reason her purse is the size of a piece of luggage!

At some point Mom told me that Dave needed to meet us at the ER and I reminded her that I had the only car. The next thing I know there is a vascular surgeon who also happened to be at the show (must have been Medical Professional discount night). He walked us out to Mom’s car where Alli had pulled around. He took a look at the hand and told us that it hadn’t hit any arteries and bleeding was slowing so we had time to go to Primary Children’s. He treated Jonathan for shock and we started on our way. Mom and Alli informed me that Tricia would take my boys home in my car and Brandon would pick her up there. So grateful for my family.

Now I have to tell you about some of the hilariousness of my and my family dealing with stressful situations like this.

Here is the phone call that Dave got.

Mom: Dave, Tricia is bringing you the car.

Dave: OK.

Mom: Brandon will come get her.

Dave: OK.

Mom: Then you can come to the hospital.

Dave: Did something happen?

Mom: Jonathan got a splinter in his hand.

So you can imagine what Dave is thinking at this point. A SPLINTER? Really?

Then Tricia shows up.

Tricia: Dave it is really bad. Really bad. You have got to get to the hospital.

So Dave is wondering at this point if it is a splinter or a power pole that has gone through Jonathan’s hand.

In the meantime I am riding into the hospital and Alli and Mom are comforting Jonathan.

Mom: Jonathan, just imagine if you were a pioneer. You wouldn’t have an hospital to go to. Remember Joseph Smith and how he had to have part of his bone removed. Also there was that story about the boy who had part of his hip blown away and had no hospital to go to. You are so lucky.

Alli: Jonathan, think of it this way. I bet you won’t have to fast tomorrow.

Nice.

We arrived at the hospital and called the boys at home to make sure they were ok (they weren’t) Jonathan comforted them both and told them that he was fine and not to worry.

Dave eventually arrived and was relieved that Jonathan didn’t have a power pole running through his hand and also that it was probably major enough to warrant a visit to the ER.

Mom and Alli left to check on our family at home and we were taken back to our room. Little did we know that we would be there for the next 6 hours. It did start to feel a bit like home!

So apparently you treat puncture wounds a lot differently than lacerations. Lacerations I can do. Been there done that. This was different. They don’t want it to heal. They kept coming in and lifting open the wounds so they wouldn’t heal with all the dirt, dust and wood still in there. Here is the hand. The triangular cut at the base of his thumb is the entrance wound and the cut at the top of his thumb pad is the exit wound.

I won’t give you the play by play (I know I already pretty much have). We saw 4 doctors and had a consult with a 5th by phone, 1 xray tech and the poor nurse who actually had to do all the work. We had lots of time in between waiting for medicines and pain killers to kick in. Thank goodness for the Disney channel and the all you can eat slushies.

Mom, Alli and Tricia had all told us to update them as we heard anything. The funniest is the last text we sent to Tricia. It was late and I am sure she was asleep. But she responded “Gdosgd”. We decided we didn’t need to text her anymore. We texted Alli and she responded in a very coherent manner but then claimed not to have heard from us all night. She can text in her sleep apparently. We finally told Mom just to go to bed because it was so late.

The doctors debated back and forth about actually doing surgery and cutting open the wound to clean it out or flushing it with saline and hoping to clean it out that way. We all opted for the flushing although halfway through I was ready to change my mind.

They had to put an IV tube into the wound and then the nurse would use a large syringe to force the water through the wound and flush everything out the other side. Needless to say it was horribly painful for Jonathan and he had to take frequent breaks to relax and stop shaking. For 2 hours we did this. They really wanted it cleaned out. And so did we. Jonathan was such a trooper. At about 4:00 we arrived home and fell into bed to sleep a few hours before church the next morning.

He had to soak his hand several times a day to keep the wounds open and keep water flushing through. He was worried while in the hospital about being able to play basketball and baseball this week but with enough padding he did just fine. They had a come back on Monday to check for infections and also had a see a “Hand Guy” to make sure his thumb was not traumatized. He was all clear on Thursday! Yay. So glad we aren’t pioneers.

We are so grateful for all the little tender mercies of people being there at the right time and making a bad situation a little more bearable.

Report Card

2011-01-25T17:31:00.001-08:00

I don't know about you but I check my boys grades almost every day.

Today I checked them and one of my kids had 3 F's! I literally almost cried. It turns out that by the time he got home they had gone back up! Anywho. Not the point.

The point is during those few hours between the discovery and the recovery I was dying. I was ranting to myself about what a great student I was back in the day and how I would have rather died than get an F... And then while showering I had an epiphany. (and no that isn't some strange female problem Nate!). I was thinking about what my grades would be in my life right now. So I have given myself a report card.

Wife B+
Mom B
Housekeeper/Cook/Laundress B
PTA A
Primary Counselor A
Employee C-
Just Me F

I think I need a Parent/Teacher conference to see what

extra credit I can do! Lucky for me my Teacher is very

understanding. So is my Parent for that matter.

I think I will start by apologizing to my son!

Excuse #45

2010-12-09T09:34:00.000-08:00

So I was thinking about how I have been the MOST boring blogger in the world and I thought to myself WHY? Why have I not posted? So here is reason #45. Because I am a detective. I spend every waking moment trying to solve mysteries. Here are some of the recent cases:

What in the world is that smell?

Suspect: Wet winter boots

Who left the milk out?

Suspect:Josh
Case: unresolved, lack of evidence. although I was tempted to take fingerprints.

Where are Joe's Sunday shoes?

Located:Downstairs in his dirty clothes basket. Also located missing slinky.

Why is the Junior High trying to kill me off with so much homework?

Case: Still under investigation. Parent/Teacher conferences provided some clues.

This last case was a difficult one.

Where is Aaron's cell phone?

Facts: last seen Sunday at 4:00 pm in the family room before he left to the Stake Fireside.
Suspects: The Younger Brothers
Progress: I have interrogated Suspects. No success in breaking them until about 10 minutes ago.

Joe: "Mom, I know what happened to Aaron's cell phone."
Me: "What happened to it?"
Joe: "I took it and flushed it down the toilet."

Case solved. It only took 4 days to break him! Now I am going to break him again.

I guess Joe is getting Aaron a really nice gift this year.

I am just grateful all those hours of CSI are really paying off!

Just to say I posted...

2010-11-30T19:37:00.000-08:00

Saw this today and had to share! Happy December everyone!

Little Touches of Heaven

2010-10-07T12:20:00.001-07:00

So this week I have felt little touches of heaven amidst the hecticality (I love to make up words) of my life. Here are some that I thought I would share.

Getting the worlds softest socks directly out of the dryer and putting them on my freezy feet! Ooooh heaven. Fall is a comin'!
General Conference: I can't tell you how uplifted and hopeful I felt after conference this last weekend. And how much I loved to watch it in my pj's.
Sending my 2nd son off to Priesthood with his brother and dad. It was a bit of heaven to have him so excited to go to the Conference Center and a little bit of heaven to be down to just 3 home with me. just kidding. kind of.
Holding a beautiful brand new baby girl (not even 4 hours old!) Little Lydia. I hope she realizes that I am her new favorite aunt. Honest it makes me tear up just thinking about that precious little thing!
Finding out that our Claire Bear is not as sick as she could have been. So so blessed. More tears. Poor little thing.
Hope for good things yet to come.

Just a short list of things that have made me feel that Heaven is closer than we realize.
Maybe not so much in the socks as in the other stuff.

Life without pictures.

2010-09-13T10:36:00.000-07:00

I won't blog.
I lost my camera adapter so I can't download pictures.
I figure my life is already boring enough that if I post without pictures it will be unbearable to read about.
So instead here is my random question of the day.

I run a home.
I run to the store.
I run Sandy's business.
I run my kids to La Crosse, Soccer, scouts, friends houses and various other places.
I run errands.
I run the cub scout program in the primary.
I run the Reflections Contest for the PTA.

So here is the random question.

Why, may I ask, do my pants feel tight?

Vacation of a Lifetime Wrapup

2010-08-16T07:26:00.000-07:00

I know! I know! Enough already but I was looking through this entire series of posts and was laughing at all the memories so I decided I had to do a top ten. Or top 11 as the case may be. So here they are in no particular order. My favorite laughs of the cruise.
Davy Crockett the famous Pirate! With his Mom.
Free Diving and Free Stylin!
"I CAN"T HEAR YOU!!" Sorry I gave you a heart attack!
Andrew going nuts on the last night! Scary and hilarious.
Alli and her stripper pole! Such fun times on the back of the ship every night!Mitch helping Haley flash the entire ship within the first hour of our voyage!Sara and the Drunk Guy. Sara and CANADA! All our Idaho friends and the other people who we saw a lot! Most of which were too drunk to have any memories at all from the cruise.The "Private Eyes" Train Wreck. With body guard.
Mom as Art. and all the other fun we had with our outfits! See what I mean? Great, great laughs!Big Man on Little Horse. I adore him.
Prom Night. The tilt of the head makes this picture! Every cruise should have a girl in a choir dress dancing to"Busta Move!"And last but not least. Dead Lady. May she forever live in our memories.

Actually the fact remains that my favorite things about this cruise were ...This.
Yep.
These people.

They were the ones I laughed with. Or at. Whichever.
They were the ones who made the unusual even more unique.They were the cheering crowd. They always are. They were the ones who made the spontaneous brilliant!

The thing I love about this group is that they can make a cruise a Vacation of a Lifetime. Absolutely. Without question. But they also help make my regular life pretty darn sweet.
Thank you people.

Voal Day #9 The Finale

2010-08-10T19:17:00.000-07:00

So we said our goodbyes to the People of the Pearl! Goodbye Washy Washy! Goodbye Happy Happy! Goodbye Julie the Cruise Director who was a bit of a disappointment. We got off the ship and headed to another boat. We had a few hours to kill so we asked our taxi driver who picked us up to take us to see an alligator! It is amazing to see signs along the freeway warning you to stay in your car if you have car trouble! So different!This is an airboat and basically blows you across the surface of the wetlands of Florida. The water is not very deep so you kind of have to skim the surface. It is cool because even after the fan is shut off you skim across the surface and if you have a cool driver he turns and you kind of feel like a skipping rock. Only without the skipping. Which would then make us just a rock which really just ruins the whole analogy. Anyways... Our guide was really great. I am going to call him Bert because I think that was his name and if it wasn't it should have been. Bert was very informative and very entertaining. Bert told us many stories of horror and death. Enough that when he told us to stay away from the edge of the boat we believed him. Here is Jenn clinging to Andrew. Andrew and I were smart enough to sit on the inside of the boat. Bert then blew the whole instill them with fear thing when he jumped out of the boat to talk to us for a while. Actually he said that alligators are attracted by splashing so if we fell out we should just sit there quietly while he finished the tour and came back and got us. I know he told us a funny story here. But I will not share it at this time. Because it was 7 months ago. And I can't remember it. I just remember laughing. Unusual for this vacation. The airboat fan is really really loud so they gave us stylish earplugs of our very own to wear. At this point I think Bert was talking but I obviously wasn't listening to him after he JUMPED OUT OF THE BOAT! Those earplugs were pretty though! I wish I had put on my orange shirt so I could just have told you that my earring holes were tired so I just stuck my earrings in my ear instead. (What do you call the hole for your earrings anyway? and Do they get tired? Just some of the questions that came to me while writing this) So Bert eventually climbs back in the boat and reminds us not to splash or dangle our fleshy hands over the side. He said NOW we are going to where the animals hang out. We saw some beautiful birds. This blue one with the bright colors was amazing. That black circle in the middle of the picture is a turtle. I really should get a job as a wildlife photographer! There is a crane. That white thing up there at the left that looks like a bird.
Oh Jenn got a better shot. See. Told you it was a bird.
Here is Tricia. Her smile says. Nice birds but show me the ALLIGATORS!
Nobody can deny Tricia. Here is an alligator. It was amazing to see a real alligator in the wild folks. I tell you what, I did not dangle my hand overboard at this point. Then he told us her name. It was Emma. Hello. Emma is not a scary name. It should have been Killer or Jaws or something! At this point I started throwing rocks and splashing like crazy.
You can see how mad she got. I am pretty sure she was about to rush the boat! Here is another Gator. See the snout in the upper middle of the picture (National Geographic this isn't). For my story I am going to name him Razor. His name was probably really Carlton. The Everglades are beautiful and so different from what I see here at home. Although I think my 5 animals are more active than theirs. The tour ended after a while and we headed back to shore. We made our way over to the Alligator show. Ranger Jim-Bob brought out this cute little guy for us. Mom got to touch him. So did Alli. I didn't. Ranger Bob-Jim then introduced us to this guy Titan (probably Milton). Titan was out there in front of us for the whole show and he didn't move a muscle. He didn't twitch, blink, anything. I honestly thought he was a statue. Then Ranger Billy-Ray started in and riled him all up! Then he moved. They move quickly. He taught us the proper way to wrestle an alligator. He said you sneak up from behind it because they have only peripheral vision. Then you jump on it's back and clamp the jaw shut because the muscles to open the mouth are very weak. He proved this by holding it closed with his chin. My boys thought he was kissing the alligator. Admittedly that would have been a more impressive feat. He also proceeded to stick his hand in the alligators mouth. Those jaws snap pretty fast and very hard. I am so glad that I didn't dangle my hand!
Another interesting fact. If you close an alligators eyes it basically goes into sleep mode. It goes completely limp. He closed the eyes and he could then flap the legs around. It was a strange thing. Still not recommended as a fighting technique. After the show we had the chance to hold a medium sized gator. Only Brandon and Dave did it though. I think Andrew was scared.
Dave looks good with an alligator. We took the time to go around the grounds and observe the alligators in their "natural habitat". they had just dropped breakfast in (chickens). It was entertaining to watch them fight over their food. They don't really chew their food. It is more like rip, swallow. We headed over to the Gift shop and you WOULD NOT BELIEVE what they had for sale there. They had coon skin hats! We were so disappointed that Mitch was not there to mock! We would have bought one but we were feeling quite broke by this time!
So after our tour we had our driver take us to Wendy's for lunch. Then we had him take us to a Walgreens for snacks and supplies for our flight. Our poor taxi driver. He became like part of the family. Tricia and Brandon talked Spanish to him and we learned all about him and his family and I think Tricia taught him the first discussion. He eventually dropped us off at the airport and we said our tearful goodbyes to our taxi driver. We still had a LONG wait at the airport. Mitch and Haley had left earlier that morning and we said goodbye to Sara as she caught her earlier flight. B. Rad was staying for the Super Bowl but the rest of us got ready to head home, after throwing lots of stuff away because our baggage was over the limit (if anyone is looking for a really tacky cowboy vest there is one in a garbage can in the Miami airport along with a bunch of Diet Coke!) We finally settled in for our long wait in our boarding area.
Alli bought a bunch of cards and we played games while we waited. We went and found a table and spread our luggage out around our area. We ate our Walgreen's snacks and some of us laughed and talked and laughed some more. Others went to their quiet, happy place and waited for this trip with their in-laws to be over. We flew to Houston (it was good to be back) and then boarded our flight to SLC. I have to mention that poor Andrew had the worst luck on every flight. This flight all of us were a bit nauseated by a horrible smell and started complaining about it after we landed. Andrew and Jenn informed us that the source of the odor was the lady seated next to Andrew on the plane! Poor Andrew. But it sure made for a funny story for the rest of us.

Nate and Paul brought a few vehicles and picked all of us up and we all headed home at last. We were exhausted but thrilled to be home.

Voal Day #8

2010-07-21T08:20:00.000-07:00

We woke up on Friday morning and we were here. It is the private island owned by NCL. After so many popular tourist destinations it is nice to have a private island to ourselves and 2,000 of our closest friends from the Pearl!We didn't tender together this morning because some of our group were going to go parasailing and needed to get to the Cay quickly. Here they are loading up on the open air tender to head on over to the island. Hey wait! From this view I can see that Brandon has a bald spot going on back there! I did not know that. I learned something new today.
We tendered a few minutes later. I like the open air tenders better.
Hey from this view Dave's hair looks grey. What?! I think it is whiter than than the guy behind us.
Oh my stars. This picture totally made me laugh because I saw Mom with her money guard necklace pack thing. Mom had learned in previous travels that she was supposed to wear her money bags under her shirts and under her arm to protect all of her important stuff. So we get to the airport to leave and security tells us to put our wallets, purses and everything on the conveyor belt. So we proceeded to die laughing as Mom basically is having to remove her arms from her sleeves and duck her head into her shirt and pull her money purse over her head while trying to hold her shirt on to stay modest. It was HILARIOUS!
So these 4 hoodlums
and these two strangers were the parasailers of the day. The weather was a bit on the overcast side but it didn't stop these brave adventurers.
So I wasn't actually on the boat so I have no idea what happened. Although I am sure none of it was very fun because, after all, I wasn't there. Duh. But, from what I can tell this is Mitch and Haley. Haley was told to flap her arms very fast to help them get going. And Mitch was told by Tricia to snap a picture of her legs before he left.
Yeah Tricia! Your legs look great from here! Although look at Haley's. They look good from here also. Mitch's are way too hairy. And his pinkie toe looks like someone cut off the top of it.
Hey Mitch, with the strap cutting into your arm you actually look like you have muscles. Haley looks happy about that also. Here goes B. Rad and Sara. At least that is Sara. I think B. Rad is still hiding from us. Again. Hey B. Rad! We can still see your bird legs!!! So, speaking as the true acrophobic that I am. That does not look fun to me.

If anyone else thinks this is crazy raise your hand!
Thanks B. Rad. See now this height I can handle. Why go up any further I ask you?
Last the best of all the gang. Tricia and Brandon have their turn. Although, once again, I was not there I have no idea who went first or last.

I don't know if they were coming back in or just heading up but I do believe Tricia was yelling something about Mitch handing her her shoes!
After the adventure they all headed back to our site on the beach and recovered. Apparently Tricia is the only one who is not feeling the need to air out her left armpit. I think they were more nervous than they let on!
Brandon bought some fish food at the little shack here on the island (conveniently charged to your room, sir!) and he and Tricia and some others went out snorkeling and took the food out for a try. I guess that the fish REALLY like this food and they will nibble off your fingers in order to get some. These fish are not small. And they are not afraid to touch you.
All of this resulted in Tricia struggling greatly to get out of the water and onto Alli's tube very quickly! There was some screaming involved also. The schedule for this day went pretty much as follows. Snorkel, rest, repeat. We followed that schedule for the rest of the afternoon. We also added a little shopping in. There were a ton of little booths where the natives (of this little private island, pop. 0) were selling authentic Bahama souvenirs. This is the snorkel portion of the day. B. Rad. Looks like an awesome free dive! Snorkel again.
Andrew this time. They make us wear these scraps of yellow fabric that somehow will save you if you start drowning. I worry about this design a bit. I guess you just have to hope that you realize you are drowning in time to have enough air to inflate this scrap. Hmm.

Rest portion of the day. Wow he is wiped out! Oh I forgot that after lunch Dave added an extra event into his day.

Have you heard of geocaching? If not. It is basically a hidden treasure game where adults hide little secret stashes or "Caches" all over the world and then they post online the GPS coordinates and other people go find the treasure. You sign a log, take a bit of the treasure and leave something for the next person. It is the fastest growing hobby in the world! And Dave does this. And I tease him about it. Teasing Dave is the 2nd fastest growing hobby in the world.

So back to the day. After lunch Dave went on a hike to find the cache located on the island. He found it and left a geocoin (a coin that you can track as it travels the globe). Then he rested.

After we arrived home I mocked him for doing this on a vacation but as we spoke he got online and showed me that the coin was picked up THE NEXT DAY by another geocacher! Good grief. So many people to mock.
I think Haley is talking about how nuts Dave is also. "Did you here Dave went Geocaching? What a nerd!" 2nd fastest growing hobby I tell you!
Sara and B. Rad taking a break from their busy routine. You know, snorkel, rest, snorkel , rest. It was a busy day.
I am not sure what is happening here. Alli is neither resting or snorkeling. She is however holding onto a scrap of yellow fabric. I know! She is probably running an emergency drill to see if she has enough oxygen to inflate the vest! Hey Alli! Did we mention that once you blow it up you can't deflate it? Good luck free diving in that thing! Good idea. Go with the rest option instead. But watch that you don't open your mouth much more because then you will be pulling a dead lady and you don't want that to happen! B. Rad you are looking hot! And not just because of the weather you know what I mean? Ha ha. He finally put on his little coconut bikini top. And it really doesn't look hot. It looks ridiculous which is the point.
"Hey what is everyone looking at? What is so funny?"Oh yeah. That is a sight. I really like how Dave refused to get any closer.
Creepy guy in the water! Notice how everyone pulled their children out of the area!

It just gets worse folks.
"Take your children! Shield their eyes."
As creepy as B. Rad is it is really Mitch with his midriff shirt who scared me here! What is he doing?
They must have secretly made a bet of who could be the most frightening sight in the water on this day! And trust me people. There are some Seriously Scary People on this beach!
So Dave persuaded me to go out one last time with the fish food. We went out a ways between the two reefs and Dave started spreading the fish food around and we were SWARMED. Those fish freaked me out a bit. I can see why Tricia jumped up on the raft! Lucky for me I could swim a little ways away from the feeding frenzy but Dave couldn't. The fish actually started biting his fingers and his hands. Then he did the macho, manly thing and threw the food away, screamed like a little girl and headed for the surface. I could hear the screaming through his snorkel. I laughed so hard! That is my man!
So we finally had to start heading back to the ship. Thanks for pulling your shirt down Mitch!

Look at all these cute couples! So darling, aren't they?
These two were the sweetest couple on the beach! "Jenn, would you please get over here and save me!!"
That is much better! Jenn is much cuter than that other person.
As you got back on to the tender to head back to the ship they had water spraying on the ramp to help wash off the sand from your feet. Ingenious really. Except for the people that think it is part of some lame water park! "Woo-Hoo! A water slide!"
Here is where we hung out all day! As we pulled away they were already lining the chairs up for the next crowd of cruisers.
It was a delightful day spent on the beach.
We sailed off towards home. Here it is. If you look really carefully on deck 11 you can see someone showering! I hope it isn't Sara!
We went to dinner with Mom and Alli. The rest wanted seafood but Dave hated fish even before they attacked him while snorkeling! We discovered a new restaurant that we had never tried. It was really good! How did we miss this place?
We watched our last sunset. I remember this one. I think.

It is only appropriate as we sail through the Caribbean that we run into a pirate or two. He didn't show up until the last night while we were hanging out on the deck after dinner but he was worth the wait! He looked great! I really liked the pirate coat.
He really liked the long dreadlocks! He like to flip them over his shoulder every so often. Very manly. I must say that I don't really see a resemblance between him and either of these "Pirates"!

Voal Day #7

2010-07-11T08:20:00.000-07:00

Hey, guess what. Summer is half over and I am still writing about February! Good grief. Oh well. It still makes me smile to think about these days so I guess it is all right to still be writing about them. You are not required to read these posts anymore. It is like the never ending vacation slide show. Thursday was a sea day. It means that all you see is this...and this!but here are 2 things you will not see this day! Yep. B. Rad and Sara must have fallen overboard because except for a very brief siting during shuffleboard they were feared lost at sea! So mostly you see a lot of this. Except when you go on a cruise with these yah-whos you also see a lot of this.Which reminds me a little of this. Which is a whole other story. So Mitch chose this day to soak in the sun while wearing his giant snuggie!Apparently when he first snuggied up he felt the awesome power of the force flowing through him. He does make an awesome Jedi.
After seeing this pose I think he reminded me of a monk.I had the unique chance to be his photographer as he took the snuggie on tour. I stopped taking pictures of him and just took shots of the double takers, second glancers and all out starers!Holy crap is that the dead lady alive? Nope she is way too covered. Not to mention alive!More admirers.
This was the best row. They just looked and laughed and elbowed one another.
Finally this gentleman gathered up enough courage to ask what was going on. Mitch told him he lost a bet.
This was the day to wear the crazy outfit. Although Haley's wasn't too crazy. Although as you can see Mitch was terribly disturbed by the Ute shirt!Dave and I decided to be moral support for Haley because let's face it must have been a great challenge to be out in public with such an outfit! Hey is that B. Rad and Sara? Nope false alarm.This guy is a drunk U fan that happened to be on the ship!! She walked past and he yelled "Go Utes!" I shouldn't have been so shocked at his level of intoxication because after all I did go to school there but folks it was 10 in the bloomin morning! I hope he didn't spill any on Haley!Andrew took one look at Mitch in his get up and determined that today would be a great day to wear his Edward shirt because let's face it, is anyone looking at Andrew with Snuggie Man around?
This guy here was not distracted by Jedi Blue because he sees Andrew in his slim fit shirt and apparently really likes what he was seeing! Actually Andrew did say that it was the teenage girls that kept giving his shirt second and third looks. He also said it creeped him out!Andrew wore his shirt with pride! I know you can't read it very well but on the back in flowing gold letters it reads "I honestly have no idea how to live without you"! Andrew is a passionate one folks. Don't let the curly hair and the dimples fool you!
So Andrew, Mitch, Dave and I went on a walk-a-bout and decided to play some shuffleboard.
We found a board where 2 older couples were playing. They had no idea how to play or keep score and they were obviously going to be there for way too long. So being the helpful person I am I walked over and read the rules which were POSTED RIGHT ON THE WALL. I then decided to share my new found knowledge that yes ultimately would end their game sooner. These old duffers basically told me thanks but we like our way better. They did play for about 90 minutes while we walked and talked and watched the water!Finally they got bored of the old-people-dumb-way of playing and quit so we finally got a turn. Mitch spent most of the first game complaining that from his side the puck or as we pros refer to them "rocks" would either stop short or go to far. So don't push so hard or so soft Mitch. Try "just right" . Despite his partner's whining Andrew started the first game with a strong lead.
Andrew played with a strong cold hand. I think he was inspired by the T-shirt! Strong. Cold. Get it? Ha-ha! I love teenage girl movie references. Andrew went on to win the first match for his team and then we traded sides.
Mom and Alli came by to watch and take pictures since I needed to concentrate on my game! And then... Holy crap! That is B. Rad and Sara! Hey guys! We are over here! Guys? Hey. Where did they go?
Dave and I came out strong on the second game and we were pretty much unstoppable! Mitch said that it was because of the boat rocking whenever he would take a shot. Jeepers Mitch it sure was nice of the captain to stop the boat and drop anchor when the rest of us were shooting!
Really Mitch when you see form as good as this you just need to accept that I am a better athlete and ballet dancer than you could ever be.
So after seeing Haley, Mitch and Andrew in their crazy outfits Tricia went and put her hot pants outfit on! Oh wait that isn't her outfit that is just Tricia's rock climbing/showing off the legs/laying out outfit! Here is her real silly get-up! And I have to tell you except for the balls on her head there is nothing here that Tricia wouldn't have packed for herself anyway. Now if we really wanted to frustrate Tricia we should have made her wear a long skirt and flats! Let's face it if the flip flops hadn't had a 3 inch heel she probably would have refused to embarrass herself by going out in public at her real 5'4" height! Flats! Never!So here she on the way to lunch asking me if anyone is looking at her legs! Hello! Tricia! You have balls on your head and your walking a few feet behind a big Blue Snuggie, a slim fit Edward and a girl in Ute shirt that smells of alcohol. Nobody is looking at your legs!
See? Here is Washy-Washy/Happy-Happy (I love foreign names. They are so poetic!) not looking at your legs but at the balls on your head.
Funny thing was we walked around the corner and there was a guy in a huge, colorful goofy top hat. Apparently only he and Tricia got the memo about Crazy Head Gear Day! Julie the CD (that stands for Cruise Director) should have made an announcement over the PA (that stands for Physicians Assistant) or had house keeping make hats for us all out of towels. After lunch we decided to go rock climbing again. Andrew took the time to roll up his sleeves and dive into that new novel he has been dying to read!

Andrew, with those white arms I could almost believe that you are actually Edward! Except you smile too much and I don't think you have the patience to gaze into Jenn's eyes while lying in a field for 40 minutes. Your hay fever would go crazy!
So here is my manly husband posed to conquer the wall. As soon as he removes the large wedgie that the harness has caused!
He made it to the top of the intermediate route although he didn't listen to instructions to ring the bell and then turn around for pictures. I think he just wanted to get that harness off quickly!
See this is how Hot Pants, er, I mean Tricia obeys. She rings the bell. Poses. Turns for the picture. Tells Brandon to take one. Changes her leg position. Tells Jenn to take one. Puts her sunglasses on and flips her hair. Tells me to take one. Then the belayer starts jerking on her rope to get her to come down!
Brandon then was told to climb the harder route to get a better view of her buff arms! Hey Brandon! Can you see B. Rad and Sara from up there?
So it appears that the rock climbing was a hair raising experience for Alli! We decided to calm things down and headed off to the game room.
Then we played games. Or at least most of us played games. Dave played for a little while and then went on another walkabout. Guess what! B. Rad and Sara walked by while we were playing games (the room has glass walls). We were very still and quiet because we didn't want to spook them!

Now I know with your keen powers of observation that you may have noticed that everyone seems very greasy looking. Like look at Jenn here. She also seems very relaxed. That is because she spent a bit of time ...
in here. You see this was massage day for our cruise group. Everybody had signed up to go to the South Pacific Spa for a massage. I know for certain that Tricia and Brandon had a great experience although it may have been a bit "cheeky" for my taste!
Dave and I refrained from signing up because A. We are cheap and 2. Dave hates to be touched. Except by me. Just for your information.
However Alli being the kind and generous sister that she is surprised me by paying for a solo massage without my anti-touch spouse who was perfectly happy to go on your random everyday walkabout! So I had a hot stone massage and it was heavenly. I can't believe how relaxed I felt. Alli was officially my new favorite person on the cruise!
Later we all met out on deck to watch the sunset. This is Mitch. He is having fun on his cruise. I have to tell you about a funny story that Mitch told while we were sailing the great blue sea. Mitch gets very animated when he tells stories. So he was telling us that while we were exploring the islands of the sea and sailing about the old pirate routes we were in danger of the revenge of the pirates. Then he proceeded to tell us that the undead would drag us off to... Davy Crockett's Locker.
WHAT? Yes folks who knew that the King of the Wild Frontier was actually the same person as the Captain of the Flying Dutchmen! You should hear Mitch's fantastic Western Pirate accent! I must say we laughed the entire trip about this mix-up! Watch out for the Coon Skin Hat that those darn pirates are sporting! Poor Mitch got tired of being teased and cried a bit. "Mom, the other kids are teasing me about Davy Crockett again!"
Mom: "Mitch, it was kind of a funny mistake."
We watched the sun go down and waited for our dinner reservation. Here is Tricia's silly outfit for the day. As opposed to the balls on her head and the climbing hot pants! This is freezing cold towel lady! Hey Tricia! I have this really cool idea for keeping warm. Clothes! Sheesh. Mitch and I were obviously having a stick your bottom out there for the picture. Mitch wins. The sun went down. Again. And you lucky people get to see Sunset #7!We splurged on this night and went to dinner at Benihana's. It was delicious! Here is Jenn, Edward, Haley, Davy Crockett.Dave and I. I am the one on the left. Cheeky, Tricia, Mom and my Favorite.Also at our table was this nice couple that we met! Oh my stars! Could it be? I think that is Sara catching that shrimp in her mouth.
(OK you know what really freaked me out about eating here? Can you see the people watching us through the windows? They just stood in the hallway of the ship and watched us eat. I wonder if this was the "Feeding Time with the Animals Program" that they mentioned in our daily itinerary sheet. Glad we missed that everyday. Anyways kind of creepy.)It IS B. Rad! Not many people have that big of a mouth. Great he just came back and already I am insulting him. No wonder he took a break!Sara finally broke out her styling outfit! She matched the ships decor to a tee! So we headed to the Bliss! And Sara rocked in her outfit! It was nice to see her again. We danced and danced!

But lets face it folks I am not as young as these two and I was getting really tired!
Alli is a young one also. But even she started to get very tired. Then something VERY unexpected but very fun happened. You can't quite see it here. But you can see how funny we all thought it was.

See how tired we are? Starting to sit during dance time. Unheard of! But we are also very entertained!
These 2 are also amazed and amused by what was going on the dance floor!
This is what was going on. It was Andrew. So the theme song from the cruise started playing. (Black Eyed Peas, I Gotta Feeling) and Andrew went crazy. First there was this swinging his arms in a circle above his head!
Then there was the booty shake! I think Jenn was sitting right behind him. At least I hope it was her.Here is the head to knee move. I can't believe this was my mellow brother! Hey I guess after several days on a cruise ship he finally breaks loose!
Hey Mitch now lets hook legs and dance around in a circle. Who is this person?!!?
He was still going strong when we called it a night! Here we are with our favorite DJ, Patrick. We had a blast with this guy as our DJ! If you ever happen to be in the neighborhood of the Bliss Lounge on the Pearl stop by and say howdy to Patrick. Tell him Utah says hi. I am totally sure he will remember us. Right?

Good Things to Come

2010-06-17T14:17:00.000-07:00

Happened on this today and thought of a few of you (and me) who may feel like sometimes your path is awfully difficult .... Love to you!

Voal Day #6

2010-06-11T08:40:00.000-07:00

So apparently we stayed in St. Thomas for a month!! I will finish writing about this trip because honestly it is the only record that I will have of this hilarious cruise!

So we left St. Thomas and headed to our next destination. We would arrive the next morning. The ship really had to put the oar to the ocean (similar to the pedal to the metal only for a boat). See that little yellow dot on the left island? That is St. Thomas. See the little yellow dot on the middle island? That is Tortola. It takes 50 minutes to get there. I think our ship went out a ways and did circles all night long(!) and then pulled at sunrise for the dramatic entrance.So we tendered in to Tortola and went to find Egbert who was supposed to be our quick ferry driver that was to ferry us over to the other island. See the yellow dot on the left island that is where we met Egbert. He was supposed to take us over to the right island, (Virgin Gorda). It is supposed to take 30 minutes after you board the ferry. The problem came when Egbert had apparently overbooked so he convinced a friend to drive us across on his boat. Problem that we discovered a little ways into the trip across. His boat was smoking and barely limping along. I was up on the bow of the ship with B. Rad, Haley, Mitch and Dave so we didn't get sick from the smoke but others in our group were in the back having their lives shortened by breathing in toxic fumes. We were of the Happy Oblivious group.Our Idaho friends were on the boat with us as well as the nasty hoochies. The hoochies were so hungover from the previous night that they just sat and vomited into a bucket for our 90 minute ride. So the Oblivious Happy group was getting frustrated with how long this ride was taking. We especially were a bit miffed when the ferry (that we were supposed to beat by at least 30 minutes passed us!
But look at those poor friends on the back of the boat or as we call them The Vomit Watchers. I wonder how they are faring. They look like they are really satisfied with their experience. Jenn especially has her "I'm so happy" face going on here. The Happy Oblivious group did see this cool house and tried to figure out why it looked familiar. We decided it had to have been a Bond film at some point. Sadly this house was the only highlight from the ferry across to Virgin Gorda. When we docked we (our group and the Idaho friends) all decided we were not riding back with Egbert's friend so we paid him for the one way trip and told him not to look for us on the return voyage. Then we caught a taxi to the Bath's and determined that we weren't going to let the Egbert problem ruin our day. However "Egbert" is now kind of a swear word in my family. The Virgin Gorda Bath's are a National Park here in the British Virgin Islands. Here is a birds eye view. The taxi dropped us off at the little cluster of white buildings on the right side of the picture. Then we hiked down a gorgeous path. The rocks and the trees reminded me of Little Cottonwood Canyon. But then you get to the bottom of the trail and it opens up to this scene. Helllloooo! We are not in Utah anymore! So here is the map. We are at the little beach there at the top of the picture. We now are going to make our way to the crescent shaped beach at the bottom of the picture. Now in order to get there you get to go through the boulders. See all those massive brown lumps in the picture. Those are boulders. "I like that boulder. That's a nice boulder" Name that movie. My kids could, since they quote that line a lot. So after you hike through the cool boulders you get to Devil's Bay. If you look closely you can see my little stick figure laying out on the beach.
Here are some of us starting into the boulder path. Dave was a bit nervous. He suffers from claustrophobia and wasn't to sure about this part of the trail. I loved it! It was amazing. We would be in a dark tunnel and come around a corner and there was a breathtaking natural window teasing us with a gorgeous view of the brilliant blue water. They have made the hike a lot easier than bouldering up Little Cottonwood. They have made little platforms and put in ropes and ladders in harder to climb areas.
Lots of great places to take pictures.
Now since we arrived after the ferry there were a lot of people around and we got separated from each other. So I don't know the story behind all of these pictures so I will make up my own. You will have to determine which ones were true and which were not.
This picture was taken while Sara and Alli were waiting for their turn to go up a ladder and Sara starting singing primary songs pretty loudly. Alli was a bit embarrassed although I think the word "shocking" comes to mind when I look at her hair. Since we were heading to a beach and also hiking through water most of the time we were all wearing our suits. No big deal. Our group looked pretty normal. See here. Here is B. Rad wondering why he had left his Speedo on the ship! You see had just had a reminder of how dang good he would have looked had he remembered to wear it on this outing! And because he knows would have totally looked better than this. Oh yeah. I remember this story. This is where we got stuck behind a blind lady. Yep a blind lady was bouldering her way to Devil's Bay. We admired her a lot more when we were able to pass her.
You do NOT want to know what Tricia just saw here!
Brandon knows all about it!
Here is where Andrew lifted a boulder off an cute little puppy which was about to be crushed. Mom did not drop the boulder on the puppy.I think Mitch did it. He looks a little guilty here.
A couple of things about this picture. B. Rad was still mad at Egbert. Then he and Sara got in a huge yelling match so that is why he looks so ornery. I don't think he smiled for several hours. You will notice that Andrew is not with Jenn in this picture. You see Andrew had been following a very not skinny woman (no I did not take a picture) for a while and finally this lady started up a ladder and Andrew just couldn't take it anymore so he made Jenn follow the lady up the ladder instead.
Traveler trip #79 If you are a large woman AND you are wearing a swimsuit AND you are going to be climbing up ladders you should wear shorts. I feel absolutely comfortable saying this because I am a large woman and I wore shorts.
Anyway needless to say Jenn later gouged out her eyes and stopped speaking to Andrew. Andrew laughed. See, Jenn without Andrew. I think she had already gouged out her eyes here. Plus Alli avoiding the singing Sara.
Oh here is Andrew. Notice the smirk. I wonder what Sara is looking at?
Oh this is what she is looking at!

Oh my stars! It is so beautiful I can hardly believe we were actually there. We immediately got all our gear on and started snorkeling. Hey B. Rad! Have you forgiven Egbert yet? Good. Hey Sara! Lookin good! Snorkeling gear. I am pretty sure it is the most flattering thing you could ever wear.
Mom didn't snorkel. She did her water aerobics routine. She really did. I am not lying.
Anyone who thinks Mom is crazy raise their hand. Again anyone who feels that snorkeling gear is extremely flattering raise their hand. I disagree Alli. It took me a while to even recognize this person. I figured it out eventually. Here is a couple of the cool fish we saw while snorkeling in Devil's Bay.So while we were snorkeling out Idaho"friends" who have been here many times told us about a great area to snorkel. It was this area between the 2 big rocks. I say "friends" because I now suspect that they were secretly trying to do us in. They wanted us to "swim with the fishies" all right but on a more permanent basis! You see I think they wanted to get rid of us so that they could steal our tender tickets because every morning we would beat them in the tender line! I am pretty sure that was what the plot was about. Either that or they wanted to be known as the only Mormons on board. Anyway a bunch of us innocently swam out to check out this "great area"And then we almost DIED! Honestly I have never been certain that I was going to drown! What happened was these huge waves came smashing over that first big rock and came down right on top of us. Then the current would pull us out smashing us against the rocks. I can only describe it as being in a washing machine. We were all being tossed against rocks and sea urchins(!) and against each other. I was worried that not only was I going to be hurt but I was going to hurt Haley in the process. You couldn't tell which way was up and just as you would try to breathe water would smash down on you again. It was terrifying. We eventually got out and did a frantic roll call and we were all safe. We all had cuts, bruises and sea urchin wounds but we were alive. Don't I look like I almost died? I was bothered enough that I was done for the day. Although I did feel good about thwarting the Idahoans diabolical plot. Here we are coming in from our battle for life! So with that adrenaline rush the boys were ready for something truly dangerous. See this sly little grin. This is the exact moment when Andrew decided that the boys were now experienced enough to try "Free Diving"!
This is the exact moment when B. Rad giggled like a school girl, clapped his hands and said" I am in! Let's go." Here is the moment Sara heard of the plans and rolled her eyes and waved goodbye!This is the exact moment when Mom stopped her aerobics routine to ask the boys where they were going and they excitedly told her they were going to push the boundaries of snorkeling safety and swim to places heretofore undiscovered by man. Here is the moment when Mom asked B. Rad "No really what are you going to do?" and then told them all not to do anything dangerous.
Here is the exact moment that the boys said "Mom we are big boys and we can do whatever we want." and swam off while Mom said "Then I am going to tell your wives!" Just kidding I have no idea what they were doing here. For all I know B. Rad was actually asking Mom how she did that awesome aerobic move and how he could incorporate it into his P90X routine! In fact I am pretty sure that is what happened. So this Dave illustrating "Free Diving". Not to be confused with "Free Stylin" which is the cruise theme. Free Diving basically means hold your breath and dive down. Yep. Huge danger. Just ask Andrew and B. Rad who regaled us with stories about how they dove down so far their ears were bleeding and how they stayed down for 2 minutes. Here is Mitch who is approximately 50 feet down if you measure 1 ft=1 inch! Here is Dave who totally rocks as a "Free Diver"!
Here is B. Rad returning from a HUGE Free Dive. If you look very close you can see the blood running from his ears.
Meanwhile back at the beach. The wives seem pretty oblivious to the obvious danger that these men were experiencing! "Hey are those boys still out there?"
"Yea, I can see them. Good grief what are they doing? It looks like they are going under for five seconds and then surfacing in the most dramatic way imaginable." (honestly that is what it looked like.)
Here are the newlyweds. Holding hands. On the beach. While soaking in the sun. I bet you know which one of them is in heaven and which one is just extremely nice. Let me give you a hint. Here is the conversation Person #1 "Brandon? Can we please never, ever, ever leave here? We can just have my family mail me my shoes and we can just build a house with no ceiling so I can lie in the sun always." Person #2 "Ok." So who is person #1 and who is person #2. I will give you 2 seconds to decide.
Anyone want to guess? I think Mom and Alli know the answer.
So finally the boys start to decompress from their deep dives and return to shore. Here is Mitch "So did you see my awesome 20 minute dive out there" Wow I think I damaged my lungs. So here sit Dave and Mitch. Probably talking about how Andrew and B. Rad are so lame because they just like to splash a lot when they are Free Diving when really it is all about the depth, man.Andrew finally returns to shore and is showing off his legs (we call that pulling a Tricia). Actually he was showing his wounds from the near death experience (the real one not the Free Diving ones). Andrew had the worst cuts and scrapes from that episode. The guy standing on the far left is one of the Idaho friends and I am almost certain he is laughing at Andrew's wounds. We had to pack up earlier than we would have like because it was only a short stay here at Tortola.
We made quick work of helping each other pack up all the sunscreen, towels...snorkeling gear, flip flops and sunglasses. Have you ever noticed that when everyone helps everything runs smoother and quicker? Wait what is going on here?Brandon seems to be packing up all alone. What in the world is his wife doing? Why is she pulling on her hair so violently?"I can't leave here! It is beautiful! It is warm! I can show off my legs year round! I can get an even darker tan! Brandon you promised!" Oh Tricia. I am so sorry but I can tell you know nobody would have shipped you your shoes! Can't afford it.
So my claustrophobic husband decided to take the high road and climb over the boulders with our Idahoan friend. Dave is that red shirt at the top of the boulder in the middle. Here are the rest of us getting ready to leave this little piece of paradise. We hiked back on a different path. This looked less tropical and more deserty. We met Dave at the top and barely met our taxi in time to head back to the ferry! We were all exhausted! Our taxi ride was interrupted by Egbert jumping aboard and accusing us of shorting him on his fare for the ferry. (Fare for the ferry which was at best fair.) ha-ha . We had to convince him that it wasn't us and that we weren't going to pay him another dime for that horrible ride. Even Brandon got into it. Although I think Brandon was actually asleep when he yelled at Egbert. We made it to the ferry and we were all alone in our area (except the Idahoans). We signed the waiver (we decided that they really only wanted our names so if we crashed they could figure out who was on board.)
The ride was so pleasant compared to the morning ride. We all had seats and air conditioning. And there was no vomiting. Always a plus.
Mitch slept.
Jenn forgave Andrew for making her follow the scantily clad large lady up the ladder. Maybe Mitch wasn't sleeping as much as he was just avoiding the smooching going on in the back seat! Dave did a dead lady impersonation.
We tendered back to the ship.
We cleaned up and watched the sunset. Gorgeous of course.
Tricia forgave Brandon for not building her that house on the beach.
Then we stayed up way too late for how tired we all were. We played hearts on the back of the ship. We talked and laughed. and we complained that we can get ice cream and alcohol at midnight but all the water stations were shut down! Free Stylin my eye!
Oh and Mitch was furious because I stopped him from shootin the moon! AWESOME! Best night ever! He thinks I don't know how to play hearts. What does he think I do all day at home while the kids are at school?
We did make a short stop at the Bliss Lounge where only Mitch performed. He sang and danced to "Beat It" by Michael Jackson.
Everyone loved his dancing. I think the cheering helped make up for my toasting him in hearts! I hope he will forgive me.

Spring!

2010-05-21T15:31:00.000-07:00

Aaron

I spend my days praying for rain so that the baseball/soccer/lacrosse games that I paid for my children to participate in will be canceled.Alex

Josh

But then they are all home and it is raining and we are all in the house together with several friends, not my friends mind you, and I really wish the weather was better so that they could go outside and play baseball/soccer/lacrosse.Jonathan

I love spring. I really do.Joe and Dad.

VOAL Day #5

2010-03-31T08:46:00.000-07:00

Good morning and welcome to St. Thomas! This is the sight that greeted us on this lovely morning! The colors are amazing! We hopped off the ship and went into the downtown area to shop. We had 2 objectives. Buy snorkeling gear and buy souvenirs for the folks at home. We split up and sent a bunch of people off to hunt for the gear and a few of us headed to Vendor's Plaza.Vendor's Plaza is this huge collection of tents by their Emancipation Park where locals set up shop and sell touristy stuff to us tourists. The gear hunters walked all over the place to find a place that had scuba gear. I hear that they weren't the happiest of people but they all found gear eventually and in the meantime I had a GREAT time at the Plaza. This was the place chosen by Tricia where I was to where my beautiful bonnet. Let me tell you a few things about this hat.

It was HEAVY and HOT. fruit, flowers, ribbon, pine cones, nest, bird, butterfly= 20 lbs ok more like 2 but it was heavy.
It was PAINFUL. Those strawberries and grapes bruised my eyes cuz they kept swinging into them.

It was a great CONVERSATION PIECE. I have never talked to so many strangers in my life. Everyone had a comment about my lovely hat. I kept telling them that my sister made it for me and yes isn't she so talented and that she is my special sister and I didn't want to hurt her feelings. It was a great ice breaker. If any of you are going to a party and need a little help call me. I saved the hat.
It could have been PROFITABLE. I can not tell you how many vendors offered to but this hat from me! One lady told me it would match her kitchen perfectly. I should have sold it but I didn't think that was part of the deal with the Christmas gift exchange!

We all met up and headed back to the dock to meet our tour. Today we are going to the Inner Mangrove Lagoon where we will kayak, hike and snorkel. Here is one of our guides, Frank, I think. He was our main guide. The girl with him is our tour photographer.
You could tell we were back in America for many reasons. First of all they sat us down and gave us lots of instructions.

There were also working restrooms and lockers for our stuff. Oh and the guides spoke English. Mom spoke French.One huge way we knew that we were back in America was that they had a sign a legal document saying we wouldn't come after them if we were eaten by a shark. Actually I had no idea what it said because 11 of us just signed our names but 1 of us actually sat down with the clipboard and read every word of the document. Guess who? I will give you a hint. He is in LAW school. Even Frank, our guide, stopped in the middle of his lecture and asked Mitch, oops I mean asked this person, if he was REALLY reading the release. He had never had anyone do that before.
Haley took this cute picture of us. Mitch was off texting one of his professors to ask him if he should actually sign this release or change some of the wording first. Then he was asking for a copy for his records. Next we put on our life jackets (another sign we were back in legal land!)
"I swam in a waterfall dude I can handle it!"
"Sorry Ma'am you have to wear it! You did sign the waiver!"
We were carefully loaded into our kayaks and started on our way.Here we come around the corner!
Brandon and Tricia!
Dave and I. I look like I am wearing a white t-shirt. I am not. I did have sunscreen on though. I had to put some on. It was in the waiver.

Apparently there was a race and Sara won. With no help from her hubby because he was busy using his paddle as an air guitar.
They put Mom and Alli in a green kayak. We aren't sure why. Maybe it was explained in the waiver.
Frank gathered us all together for a little talk. He gave us a little enviro friendly pep talk that made me feel sightly guilty for swimming in a waterfall the day before. But I got over it. Americans and the environment. Did you know that you shouldn't wear flippers when snorkeling? It moves the water around too much. Well at least now I know what makes waves! We learned all about the mangrove lagoon and why it is so important to the environment. I remember something about fish and birds. I also remember that this is the best place to hang out in a hurricane. Noted. But it will take a while for me to get all the way down there. Then I would probably have to sign the hurricane risk waiver! We kept going. Apparently Jenn and Andrew won this race.

Mitch was a little too competitive and was punishing his wife for losing by splashing her!
Next we stopped for our hike. We walked up into this little tree filled island where they told us to watch our feet because the ground is literally covered with hermit crabs. We were told to pick one up and get ready to race them. What they didn't mention is that they really don't like to be picked up. They would pinch your hand! All you had to do was tap continually on the shell and they wouldn't dare come out and pinch you. Tricia didn't get the word on that and she got pinched hard and chucked her hermit crab across the island! She threatened to sue but Mitch reminded her about the waiver. Darn. We gathered around for the big race. Here is Sara cheering her hermit crab on. I think Haley's won. Tricia's didn't move. I think she killed it when she threw it. Don't tell Frank. We continued on our hike along the shore. We saw some great sights. Including this cool piece of coral. I love how it looks like some really difficult 3-D maze perched precariously on another maze.
We also saw a couple of windsurfers! They were awesome. Brandon explained how it worked so I am sure I would get tangled in the lines and drown. Wow imagine the release I would have to sign if I did that!
They had us pose for a picture in this cool pool. The photographer, Liz, was really set on getting the perfect shot.
She kept fiddling with her camera and telling us just a second. Then she told us just one more.
Oh that is why we had to stay there for so long! We got drenched! It is a blowhole! So funny!Here is a closeup of our faces. Look at Mom, Haley and Alli! I love a good reaction. I live with 5 boys. Apparently nothing surprises me! We continued on our walk. Andrew waded out to a rock and did a great Ariel impression. But one of our guides saw him and made him come in before he hurt himself. And before we could get a picture. Safety. Apparently it is the American way. I know what we are doing here but it looks like we are either on a Blind Hike, or playing Train, or some water rendition of the bunny hop. Why are we all holding on to each other? Because we are scared of falling off the little rocks we are stepping on. Because our other less bald guide, Scott, had shown us these. Sea Urchins. He showed us how they hide in the cracks of rocks and if you step on them it is painful! What??!! I have walked many oceans (ok 1 ocean) and never knew about this
painful creature. This is a dangerous hike through the water! I really should have read that waiver! Where's Mitch?
Sea urchins are fun to hold if you keep your hand flat. This makes B. Rad very happy! He probably feels very brave.
Tricia looks like she is bringing it up to do a little cheek to cheek photo! After posing for pictures and carefully exploring we headed back to the kayaks and headed to our snorkel experience. I found out why Dave and I never won the races!

Here is the whole group getting ready to snorkel. This was my very first time snorkeling. I have to tell you that that first time I put my face in the water and inhaled I hyperventilated a bit. When I calmed down a bit I LOVED it!

After we snorkeled we headed back to the kayaks then came one of the best parts of the day! they gave us snickers and twix to snack on because they said chocolate is the best thing after inhaling a little salt water! A Twix has NEVER tasted so wonderful!
So we kayaked back, shuttled back to the ship and loaded our tired bodies onto the Pearl! We were so tired from our fun day that I thought we would all nap after we showered but when Dave and I headed up on deck we found a lot of our group already up there taking pictures and getting ready for the sunset. There are some cool old buildings that we saw as we headed back out to sea.Every sunset we saw was different and amazingly beautiful!
Here is my lovely sister Alli taking pictures of the sunset for us! We sat on the deck (after convincing the deckhands that we would put our own chairs away) and enjoyed watching the world go by. Until we got hungry. Then we went to dinner!
After dinner we headed to the Bliss Lounge for some Karaoke. Alli sang and did a great job. She didn't dance with her song.

I sang Dancing Queen! Haley put that song in with my name as the singer! Haley is not my friend. I did not dance either.
But I didn't have to. Sara and Tricia were my back up dancers! Jenn sang another rap song! Boy that girl can dance.
Then came Tricia. She sang, shouted, skipped and danced to Yellow Submarine. She had all the actions down and tried to get some audience participation by screaming at the old ladies "I can't hear you!" I think it did scare some of them into mouthing the words!
Next up was B. Rad trying to redeem himself from his previous train wreck. He opted for If I Had a Million Dollars. Which is a duet. He asked Mitch to help him out. Mitch does not know this song. It was almost a repeat train wreck but then...
Dave started crooning from the sidelines. He knows this song and he backed B. Rad up nicely. In fact when he go to the line "Haven't you always wanted a monkey?" He actually earned a smile from our audience. Here we are, cheering on the singers and singing along in most cases. So I have to tell you that Patrick, the DJ at the Bliss, saw B. Rad coming into the lounge and said to him "Where were you guys last night? It was so boring!"
Who knew we would be a hit at the bar? So funny.
We eventually started dancing along to the karaoke singers.
B. Rad and Sara sang along with the song!
Pretty soon there was a nice crowd out on the dance floor!
Some guy even asked Mom to dance. I love Mitch's face in the picture. A little overprotective maybe?
You go Mom!

Another delightful day!

Voal Day #4

2010-03-26T11:16:00.000-07:00

Land Ho!
Good Morning and Welcome to Samana of the Dominican Republic! We woke up and this is the sight that greeted us!
We had been notified the night before by our first class traveling companions that they could "tender" over at anytime so we needed to hustle so we would arrive there soon after them so we could all get on our exciting tour! Needless to say we were up and dressed in our swimwear bright and early the next morning and we got on the first ship tendering over to the shore. We went out on deck and waited for our number to be called. While we were waiting we talked to many people from the Bliss Lounge who just had to find out if Jenn was for real.
We also ran into "CANADA" who stole Brandon's hat and posed for this lovely picture.
Finally we loaded onto our tender boat.

Down the stairs. Onto the little boat.
Here we are nicely settled in for our little voyage to the island. Is the DR an island? I mean there are 2 countries on this island and I don't want to make it seem insignificant or anything.Alli looks really happy here. I should have asked her the island question. Here is our tender driver. OK sidenote. I once told one of my boys not to kick his brother in the "privates" because it was a tender area and would hurt and ever since then he has called that area his "tenders". This made it very difficult for me to talk about taking the tender or getting tender tickets. Just saying. Sorry Mom. We are almost there! Look how beautiful it is. Here is a picture of my first step on foreign soil. Ok you can't actually see the step. But I took it. I didn't even trip which is pretty good considering I was walking on a dock, after getting off a rocking shop all the while taking a picture. We got to the top of the dock area and lo and behold we beat the 1st class crew. We could have slept for another 5 minutes! Sheesh. Here they are and they don't even look sheepish for making us wait. We were met by our guide Domingo who put us in this old open air taxi. We were loaded up and ready to head out when Domingo came and took another look at us. Cute lady and her plain husband and ... good heavens what is that in the back. I am sorry sir I don't care if it is your Christmas present we have standards here in Samana. Now all of you go get in the mini van.
So we did.
Domingo was very disappointed in our behavior! Just kidding. Domingo was actually very nice. He is originally from the DR but has a new wife in Minnesota but we were informed that it is too cold in Minnesota so he is going to ask his wife to meet him in Florida next time he goes home. He really liked Tricia and Brandon because they spoke Spanish really well. He thought Mom was a bit nuts because apparently since she knows French so well (her major you know) she can understand Spanish but then she answers his questions in French. If you think Mom is crazy raise your hand. Andrew and Mitch also understood most of what was said in Spanish although they actually speak Portuguese. Those 2 kept talking about how much this area reminded them of Brazil. I guess in Brazil they have strange men who rides around town on their bikes and sells gasoline or something because Andrew and Mitch saw a sign painted on a building and kept yelling "OLHA TROPIGAS"! They yelled that expression and laughed about it for an hour! I think Jenn finally threatened to kill them which then got them into a hysterical discussion about how easily you could die carrying around a lot of gas on a bike. We stopped in "town" and picked up our guide leader. His name is Jerry and he is an American who moved to the DR to learn Spanish and has married a girl from here and then promptly moved her to Chicago. I don't know about these men who work down here in the warmth and let their wives stay in the coldest parts of the US in the WINTER. Recently Jerry bought some property and he took us to the area where he will someday build. It is a little chunk of paradise.Here are Andrew and Jenn at Jerry's place. Here we all are at Jerry's place. Now Jerry has a neighbor and friend who allows Jerry's tours to tour his home. I think it may have once been painted green or it has a lot of algae growing on the outside of it!Dave and a few others toured the inside of the house. Dave was amazed at how they built the walls and then just plunked a tin roof on it. As he listened to Jerry he realized that the roof leaves huge gaps where it doesn't quite meet the walls. He kept thinking that would be really cold in the winter when the snow blew in but then he remembered. No snow. I didn't go inside because I was too busy outside with a group of adorable and friendly kids.
This little one reminded me of Joe with his Green Crocs (2 of Joe's favorite things!) He made me miss my boys a little bit. Then there was this group of boys showing off for the cameras! It must be a boy thing!Tricia was in heaven talking with these little ones. They seemed to enjoy listening to her speak in her strange accent.
I don't speak Spanish but I do speak the international language. Nope not love. Candy! So we loaded up in the mini van and headed to the school. We parked at the school and Haley immediately found a group off good looking boys working across the street. We took a picture of them and then we headed across the street to the school It is so green there that I expected a lot of grass around the school. There is none! It has a cement courtyard and a few classes off the courtyard. I guess they don't have recess. In Samana the middle school kids go to school in the morning and the elementary kids go in the afternoon. Here is one of the classes we went and visited for a minute. (Sure couldn't do that in America! They would lock down the school!) The kids were working on learning English so we "talked" for a minute. Ok Tricia talked. We smiled and listened.
Here is their adorable teacher! She looks a bit familiar and she seemed to be talking in French to these children who speak Spanish and are learning English. A bit confusing.
Oh wait this is the teacher. Some of those on our tour had done this tour before and knew about the school stop. They brought a bunch of school supplies and gave them to the teachers! What a great idea!
So we jumped into the van again and headed up to the ranch. We got there and B. Rad started on the satellite phone !
We prepared for the next leg of our adventure. Here are our guides and their animal companions sizing up our group.
Dave was all excited to get on his magnificent steed and take off all "Man From Snowy River" on it. They called us over and one guide would point to a person and signal them to come get on their horse. It was a lot like being divided up onto teams! They seemed to pick the women first. Here is Jenn. Take a good look at her because her guide could obviously sense her independent nature and after this he swatted the horse and Jenn took off like a shot. She was pretty certain he was trying to separate her from our group so he could have his way with her but come to find out he just wanted her to gallop her way to the top!
Mom and her 1 dollar Brazillian hat. She looks so comfy up there.
Here am I on my horse, Pedro. Please excuse my white leg. Riding a horse in a swimsuit is not a natural thing!
Brandon looks happy. Probably because that other horse is covering up his white legs!Here is Tricia. She is smiling because she has seen Dave on his horse. Where is he?
Oh here he is. Wait I thought she said he was on a horse. But his guide looks like he is just about as high as Dave. He must be standing on a rock.

Sara looks like a natural doesn't she? Don't you love the brightly colored saddle blankets?Alli and her pretty pony.
Mitch and Haley always look so adorable. Look how sweet putting their heads together. Dave and I should do that. So I rode up to Dave and realized there was something completely wrong. They had put him on the smallest little horse they could find! I am towering over him! He said he felt like he could have put his feet down and helped the horse along. He named himself Sancho Panza to my Don Quixote. See the resemblance?
We started on our hike. The guides stay right by the horse and guide it along the trail. They walk or in some cases run the entire way alongside us. It made me feel bad. I tried to tell my guide, Mossimo, to trade me places for a while but since the only English he knew was "You ok?" our communication was limited. Here is Brad. He looks a bit short too.
My guide was really good to point out all of the food growing wild around us. Grapefruit, almonds, mango, papaya, avacado, coffee, coconut, and several others that I couldn't understand until one of my multi-lingual siblings would yell back what he was saying! B. Rad was not helpful with the language thing. Korean is not spoken a lot here in Samana. And even if it were he wouldn't understand it! ha-ha. Here is Andrew with his guide. So the guides introduced themselves to us and I mentioned mine was Mossimo. Dave introduced himself to his guide and his guide then told him his name was David too. Dave believed him at first but later realized he may have just told him this to get a bigger tip! Maybe he was right because this young girl introduced herself as Andrew!! Hmm. I wonder.
The area through which we hiked was gorgeous. So many little hidden waterfalls and ponds. We got to the top and dismounted (equine term for get off). Then we started on this hike in the slippery mud. We were told to wear shoes that could get wet and let me tell you flip flops are not made for hiking in the slippery mud. Lucky for me Mossimo was right there and when I say right there I mean RIGHT THERE. Holding my hand. The entire way down. I tell you this boy wanted a good tip. Actually all the women got this kind of help on the way down. Except Jenn. Her guide juast swatted her and made her run all the way down! We finally made it down to El Limon Waterfall!
Here are the falls! They are gorgeous. The water falls from about 150 feet over us and crashes down into the beautiful deep pool. We wasted no time. We waded right in!It was cool enough to be refreshing but not so cold you couldn't enjoy every minute! All of us got in and we swam over and found a little cavern where we sat and chatted for a while. Jerry popped up to check on us!I remember at one point I was right by the falls and I couldn't catch a breath because of the spray hitting me and taking my breath away. I was thinking "man I could drown out here"! This is when I realized that this could never happen back home. First of all it would have been made a National Park or something and there would be working restrooms ( a plus) and rangers pointing out all the local plants but we would have been on a path with a small fence. Maybe a plaque telling us all about the history of the falls but there is no way we would have been swimming and exploring like we were! After a while we were told that we needed to get moving to make it back to the ship. So we got out and watched our guides dive in from way up on in the falls! Amazing. You can tell they have been here a few times before. Like every day at least once. Sometimes twice. So we headed back up the trail. I decided that I could make it much better without shoes. So I started up the trail barefoot. So I hear shouting and Mossimo beckons me over to the pond and he has taken off his hiking boots and has washed them out. He holds them out and I realize that he wants me to wear them! I try to tell him no but his insists. Many times. So I put them on and I can only tell you they were amazing. I didn't slip once! they look really fashionable don't they? OK. He is going to get a big tip. Here he is with my loyal steed, Pedro. At the top our guides ran to get the horses. Very picturesque isn't it? We headed back down the trail. We were met by these two industrious hand washers! Meanwhile, back at the ranch, they had prepared an authentic Domincan lunch for us. All of the people who had lived in South America were THRILLED.
Dave is a bit food suspicious so he kept asking everyone "What is this?" "What is that?". I told him to just eat it and stop asking! So here is the meal. Rice, beans, spaghetti-ish type stuff, salad of some kind and some fried something and meat- origin unknown.It was delicious! We had worked up a great appetite. They also gave us their version of Coke and Diet Coke. I heard that the Diet Coke tasted like Coke and the Coke was like Coke flavored Syrup! The water I had tasted exactly like water! The best part of the meal was the dessert tray. Fresh papaya, grapefruit and coconut! It was so sweet! The grapefruit was sweeter than an orange! We wolfed it all down and then loaded up into our van to head back to the ship.On our way down to the dock we stopped by a little store and right outside the store was a cigar shop. We went in and watched the young man roll a cigar. It was amazing. The funny thing was that they import their highest grade leaf from America to make the world famous Domincan cigars. Right across the street was a cool old church so went over and toured it! The rock work was amazing. So we headed back down the road with Andrew and Mitch yelling "Ohla Tropigas!" and laughing hysterically. Tricia and Brandon and Domingo talking Spanish. Mom talking French. Funny translator Tricia makes. We would ask her what Domingo had said and she would turn to us and tell us. In Spanish. Domingo thought that was funny. He asked her where she learned Spanish and she told him about her mission. And taught him the first discussion. Here is Brandon with our wonderful guides, Jerry and Domingo! They were perfect!We got back to the dock and took some pictures overlooking the water before we headed back to our tender!
Here is the tender coming to be hoisted back onto the ship. Samana was amazing! It couldn't have been a better day. Even Alli's hair is excited about this day!

VOAL #4 That night.

2010-03-17T06:50:00.000-07:00

So the vacation posts are taking me soooo long that I decided to break them up into parts of days and post a wee bit faster. If you don't like the new system please feel free to leave a comment on Tricia's blog. When she starts one. www.bestlegsever.blogspot.com (just kidding don't go there! I don't know what you might really find!)

We had a beautiful, amazing and long day in Samana and after we got back and showered and watched the sunset and had dinner and such we went and hung out on our favorite deck at the back of the boat. So beautiful to look back at the ocean with all it's color even in the dark.

But not as beautiful as Alli in her Christmas Gift from me! She looked so hot! Especially when she started into her pole dancing routine! I know! Totally disturbing but equally as hilarious. The scary thing really was that she did a good job at her pole dancing. Who knew? FYI. She is going to keep the gloves because they are so classy! This is how B. Rad spent his day. If case you didn't know, B. Rad is interested in Personal Electronics. Is says so right on his resume. That is resume talk for he likes his phone. Well he had a fancy schmancy satellite phone that he carried with him whenever we were close to land. Which makes no sense because the satellites aren't on the land. I tried to explain that but he doesn't listen to me because it does not mention Personal Electronics on my resume.
I think at this moment he looked up and saw a bright star and determined that the star was in all actuality a satellite. (remember not Universal Electronics but onlyPersonal). So he whipped out his phone and aimed it at the satellite. We should have got him a Statue of Liberty costume.
One of the highlights of the cruise for most of our group was the soft serve ice cream that you could get 24/7. I think that is about how many each person consumed. 247. I had 0. Dave told me that it was a waste of money to even bring me! Apparently having soft serve ice cream at any given moment is a dream come true for some. Who knew? This is Dave. He got his money's worth on this cruise. Not necessarily from the ice cream but he was exploring and playing every second of the day. When we got back from Samana I was exhausted and told him I was going to rest for a minute. He proceeded to tell me that he was going on a Walkabout. Yep. A walkabout. Well this particular night he was gone for too long and was late to our dinner and I started to worry about him. My family was telling me he was just fine but I worried anyway. I even went to the Bliss Lounge to see if he had decided to practice for his next performance. I went to our room, the library, the pool and anywhere else he might have gone. Finally he turned up and I proceeded to question him and I told him I was worried. He thought that was a bit silly since I knew he was on the boat somewhere. This is where I made my mistake. I mentioned that he could have fallen overboard. I even actually looked for the little rescue ring just so I knew where it was in case I spotted him. Floating in the dark. 20 minutes after he had "fallen in". Needless to say I got mocked. Dave asked me if I really had such little faith in his walking skills that I thought he could actually trip and somehow fall up 4 feet and over the edge of the deck. He spent the rest of the evening fake falling off the ship. Here he is laughing at me as he pretends to be heaving himself over the edge while I cling to his shirt because, well, it could happen. We had a hilarious time on the deck laughing about our day. Like Dave's horse, and Brandon's shirt and Alli's pole dance and my fear of Dave falling overboard, and B. Rads satellite hunt and Mitch and good ole Davy Crockett.
Tricia and Brandon

Mitch and Haley

B. Rad and Sara
Alli and Mom.
Here is Mitch crying because of all the mocking that was going on!
Actually at about midnight we started to get really tired. Look at these two.
and these two.
Brandon is already asleep.
So is Dave. Yeah so who is ready for a walkabout now? Huh? I could barely get him to our room. What a great day.

VoaL #3

2010-03-12T07:13:00.000-08:00

Good morning! Welcome to Day #3! Today is a sailing day which means we have nothing better to do than rest and relax on the ship. We had no goals other than to write postcards to the boys!

Dave and I started off the day hanging out on the deck and writing those cards which presented quite a challenge because writing 5 unique postcards when you have been on the ship for less than 24 hours is not an easy feat. There is only so much you can say about the ocean and they really didn't need to know their parents were hanging out in a bar in toga's all night! We didn't see the first class passengers for a while. Apparently they were flown off in the NCL helicopter to see the first class islands that the rest of us didn't know about. Where they have a luau and Flash Gordon (the ships shopping Guru) would give them the chance to buy diamonds and emeralds because apparently that is what first class people go on a cruise to do. Buy jewelry.
That is not really what they did. I saw their pictures. They played chess (so cerebral) and shuffle board (so cruisy) We did see the other steerage passengers and we had a good laugh at Brandon's expense. Poor man is married to a sun worshiper who wanted to hang out on deck in the heat of the sun. He decided to go get some soft serve ice cream. Unfortunately the soft serve was 2 decks down. By the time he came back up the ice cream was dripping down his arm and he was a sticky mess. He thrust the ice cream out to Tricia breathlessly saying "hurry eat this!" Only to be told she didn't want any! You know he is suffering when every time he passed us (sitting in the shade, writing postcards) he would ask how much longer until church starts! It was Sunday you see and when you have Cherie as your mom she is not going to let you forget who you are or why you are here. (not really why you are here on the cruise but why you are here on the earth) So at 1:00 we all met for "church" in Brad's suite. It reminded me of all the past Family Home Evenings from 20 years ago. The same cast of characters with a few new crazy characters added to the mix. It was a great and short lesson that Mom gave but I left a bit discouraged because I realized that all of those dreams I have of my kids maturing and actually sitting around and participating in a deep gospel discussion and will NEVER HAPPEN! Maybe it is all in that word maturing! hee-hee! Must they always complain or crack a joke? Sheesh. Kids these days. Sorry Mom!

After church we took off to the rock climbing wall.Here am I not climbing because of my crippling fear of harnesses that make me feel like I am wearing a very unflattering diaper that may or may not give me a permanent wedgie. Or maybe it was my fear of heights. Both work for me. Fearless Folks! Dave.Here is someone who apparently is planning on giving Tricia a run for her money in the next Best Family Legs Contest! I wonder who it could be?It's Andrew! Good luck with the contest Andrew! We will be rooting for you. Tricia has held that title all too long. (She puts the whole thing on and judges it without telling any of the rest of us)
Jenn's first climb.
Haley!And Mitch!

After rock climbing the girls took off to the Spinnaker Lounge for our Salsa class! The boys went to participate in the Basketball Tournament. The class was hilarious! When we got there there were about 30 women and 15 men. So we learned the basic steps and then they told us to partner up. I partnered up with a woman who was honestly doing her best to not wear a stitch of clothing over her very large bosoms. I know it is actually correct to just say bosom but with something this size it has to be plural! I was DYING! And I am a girl. I am pretty sure I was the only one in the room not watching my feet because in order to look down I would have to look past those!
Thanks goodness the B-ball tournament was lame so the boys showed up! They tried hard to catch up with our amazing steps but it was difficult because with the couple teaching us it was not overly obvious which one was the man so they didn't know which person to follow! Obviously I was the only one taking pictures because Dave and I are not in the pictures but we were out there making Salsa! At least that is what Dave thought we were going to be doing!
Mom and Alli watching us dance. Laughing. Not a good sign.

Here are Andrew and Jenn. No dancing for them because apparently they can't wait to get to the SLIDE!You remember the first day that we all stood in front of the slide to get our pictures taken. (still don't know why) Well it was time to get a little bit more up close and personal!

Here it is in all its majesty! Wow.

Here we have Andrew and Jenn. Discussing their plans for the slide. "So what do you think? Do we want to do this?"
Jenn "Well, I don't know let's see if we can figure this out. It looks like you start way up there..." and you go around and around and end up way over there." "What do you think?"Andrew "Goody. I gotta try that! Where's Mitch? I wanna tell him about this!"Mitch "I don't know Andrew. It's awfully high my goodness I'm so nervous my heart is going to jump out of my chest! Let's have Brandon go first !"Brave Brandon. Actually Brandon was the first to experience how you could sit facing down a steep slope with slippery water pushing at your back and not move at all! So for the next hour everyone tried to perfect the best approach to actually sliding quickly down the slide! Here they are discussing their different techniques. Haley, Mitch, Andrew, Dave, Brandon and Jenn tried many different methods. This we call the Classic. Really slow. The Pike. Not much better. This is called the Twist. Pathetic.

Finally Dave stumbled upon "The Ball" Mainly you grab hold of your knees and try to make a tight ball and most important don't let your swimsuit touch the slide. Needless to say the girls never got it and the boys got their backs rubbed raw. Not the most flattering position but they sure had a lot of fun. You could tell when Dave finally was successful because he finally managed to make a big enough splash at the end of the slide to soak the family sitting at a nearby table.As you can tell Dave was not having any fun at all! Silly slide.
Meanwhile up on the deck Tricia and I had a real shock. We were up sitting in our deck chairs watching the "kids" play on the slide when Tricia gasped. Something horrible had occurred. I don't want you to panic. But a lady died. Right by us! It was horrible. Here is a picture that we took to help Horatio Caine and the CSI Miami team out with their investigation. Please scan forward if you are faint-hearted.
SEE ! Dead I tell you. I have no idea how long Dead Lady had been there but they were both beet red! She did eventually get up and leave so you will be relieved to know she wasn't all the way dead. However every time we saw her we would whisper. Dead Woman Walking! Also if you ever fall asleep with your mouth open we will yell at you DEAD LADY! Well after we conquered the slide Mitch and Dave discovered the ping pong table and attempted to play. It was hilarious. Whoever thought that it would be a good idea to put the tables on the open deck on a ship traveling at 40 knots was not the best planner. Mitch was hitting into the wind and he would honestly hit the ball as hard as he could and it would go up and curve back toward him. Dave on the other hand would barely touch it and it would fly over Mitch's head. It looked very frustrating but they kept it up for quite a while. There was a gorgeous sunset that night! We headed off to the show for that night. There is a strange phenomenon that happened every time we went to the show. I would look down the row and everyone would be holding their cameras and would be perusing through their pictures from that day. It was quite a shock when Dave was glancing through our pictures and came upon Dead Lady for the first time! The show that night was great! It was a tribute to Frankie Valle and the Four Seasons. These 4 men sang the Four Seasons songs! They sounded fantastic. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Mitch and Haley! They enjoyed the show also. Mitch especially appreciated their dancing in the song "Walk Like a Man" where they didn't actually walk like men. Haley ran down and had her picture taken with them all! We had a few minutes to kill before our dinner reservation so we stopped by Bar City to participate in the Name that Broadway Tune Game! We totally rocked the house! But then we had to leave for dinner. We would have taken the grand prize which I think was alcohol of some sort. Bummer.This night also was a hallmark of sorts because we broke out the outfits! Remember we had given each other gifts to be worn on the cruise. Well Mom got to wear hers first so here she is in her lovely knitted dress! We were thrilled when she matched the decor so well at the restaurant that night!We ate at the Indigo Room and we had a delightful time! I remember laughing until I almost cried but I stopped myself because B. Rad would have mocked me hard for doing that again! After dinner Jenn went and prepared for her big night! Here she is decked out in the choir dress heading into the Bliss Lounge for KARAOKE NIGHT! Now this is our first experience with a Karaoke night and now any other Karaoke night will pale in comparison. Let me tell you a few highlights before I get to the Higher Highlights! First song I think we heard was from a man called Digger. We learned his name well because we heard from him a lot! The first song we heard him sing was "Sweet Caroline" which you may recall was the one B. Rad sang at the Bon Voyage party. I think B. Rad may have been a bit disappointed that he would not be able to do an encore performance but being the great sport he is he gave a very loud shout out as Digger was announced. Digger walked passed us and Brad yelled out "Bring it home, Digger!" That sent us cascading into a bout of laughter that did not stop until we fell asleep. And I am pretty certain that I giggled a few times in my sleep remembering some things we saw and heard!
So B. Rad told us all that we had to perform a song! I don't know why we listen to him but we all eagerly flipped through the playlist for a song that we would recognize. We picked a song for Jenn. Bust a Move. I cannot begin to express in words how she ROCKED this song. In a prom dress. Getting down. People were shrieking with delight! It was funnier than the dead lady.
Next up was Mitch! We had him do "If I Were a Rich Man" He was fantastic also. He had the shimmy shake of Tevye's down! He also had the old ladies swooning! Next up was Dave! He did "Any Dream Will Do" from Joseph. What can I say we are a musical family! He did the most dramatic, soulful, mocking version that has ever been done. He was dipping the microphone stand for goodness sakes. Next up the girls sang "I Will Survive" Holy toledo that is a long song. Afterward we asked the boys how we did and they said we looked like we were singing at a missionary farewell. Although I have never heard that song sung at a mission farewell. In between all of our songs were other people from all over. Digger being a favorite! Shelly from Miami was actually pretty good. Then there were the Hoochies from Minnesota. They were just wrong in every possible way! One of our absolute favorites was Mary Kate from Montreal! She sang songs that I had never heard and now I can't get them out of my head. "I go walking after midnight". I can guarantee that after reading that everyone who was there is now singing that song! She sang it every night.
One song that she sang sounded vaguely familiar and as I read the words I realized that it was Josh Groban's "You Raise Me Up"! I love that song but she was singing it 2 full octaves higher and not quite on the right pitch! Hilarious!
Finally it was getting late and DJ Patrick! (Yep we totally know his name!) was calling for the last entries. We were all yelling at B. Rad because he made us all sing and hadn't done anything himself. So he hurried and wrote down "Private Eyes". He told Andrew to come sing it with him. So he gets up there and the song starts and he realizes that he has no clue what the melody is except on the chorus. So he just stands there for the entire verse and tells everyone he is just waiting for the chorus. The best was his "helper" Andrew goes up to help him and realizes he does not know this song at all so he just stands in the background with his arms folded. I think he looked like B. Rad's bodyguard. He did do a great job on the chorus though! hilarious. It was a great note to end on! With so many memorable performances we became rather well known on the ship. For the rest of the week people would come up to us and ask if we were "Utah" from the Bliss Lounge. The funniest was when one of the hoochies who Dave called Shemale because she looks and dresses like a man but isn't. Anyway Shemale came up to Jenn the next morning and said she was great. Then she turned to B. Rad and told him he was a train wreck! I can kind of see the similarities. All it needs is a brother in the background "helping"! So after these fun moments we left the bliss lounge and started heading to our staterooms. On the way we walked past this big porthole window. Jenn sat down so we could take her picture and we told Andrew to jump in there! What started out as a nice shot turned into one of those awkward prom photos! Andrew's tilting of the head kills me! Under the Sea Dance '10

VoaL Day #2

2010-02-27T12:00:00.000-08:00

Day #2. The plan: Get on the boat. Set sail. Explore the ship. Meet our fellow passengers.
This day went completely as planned. Before leaving we ran across the street to Walgreen's to pick up snacks and hair products. The whole less-than-3-ounces-allowed-on-the-flight is not going to last for a week! Some cute lady outside the store asked where we were from because apparently we looked out of place in our shorts and capris because according to her it was cold. You want cold lady? I gotta place for you to visit.
Here we are leaving our hotel for the ship.
We were a wee bit excited. The taxi ride over. Once again can I mention the excitement. Sheesh. You would think we never go anywhere. Ever. Here she is! The Pearl! Why are ships feminine? Security first. Drivers License, Passport, Blood sample, hair sample, fingerprints, and a sworn testimony from my mom that I was indeed who I professed to be. They took our picture as we boarded. If you notice B. Rad , Sara , Mitch and Haley were not with us. This was the first Titanic moment of the day. You see B. Rad booked a suite with 2 bedrooms, a gorgeous bathroom, a balcony and a nice family room so right after the security check they separated the steerage (us) from the first-class passengers (them). Although Mitch and Haley claimed to be the servants just traveling with the first class passengers. I don't know exactly what they experienced here at the beginning but I think the cruise fed them a 3 course meal on diamond plates, while being fanned with giant palm leaves then the workers actually carried them onto the ship and up to their room so that they wouldn't be tired after the security check in!They wouldn't let steerage into our rooms yet so we wandered the ship and took our picture in front of the slide. Not the ocean but the slide. Wow. Never seen a slide before. So yellow and twisty. The Atlantic? I'm sure we will see it eventually but THIS SLIDE! Awesome. We went on a tour of the gym and spa facilities. Here is Dave "relaxing" on the heated bed. Mom looks a bit more relaxed than Dave. I think he was scared Marco was going to touch him with a hot rock again. (short version of long story...A massage therapist, Marco, demonstrated how good the hot rock massage would feel on my anti-touch, already hot enough husband. The expression on his face was PRICELESS!)
After a bit we finally checked into our rooms and then went to the Setting Sail Party. We watched off the deck as Miami faded into the background.

Meanwhile the Cruise Director, Julie. I KNOW! Her name was Julie the Cruise Director! She was nothing like the Julie from The Love Boat. Anywho Julie and her staff were trying to get people to dance down by the pool area. We watched as a few of the tipsy (how did they get that way so quickly?) danced with the staff for a while.
Then they started to play a good swing song and Mitch and Haley tried to dance up on the deck. Now in case you didn't know Mitch and Haley like to swing dance. They are really good. The deck was no place to showcase their talents so.... They headed down to the pool area. See there is more room here. Brad and Sara went too. So they were having a great time dancing and the crowd really got into it! He would swing her left and swing her right. Then comes the big move where he lifts her over his head and rolls her down and catches her. It is a great move. A real show stopper. Especially this time. Here he is about to lift her above his head. That was last picture I took for a while because he dropped her. Yep. Dropped her. The crowd gasped. Lucky for us Mitch caught her just before her head hit the deck. Unfortunately he caught her by her shirt which proceeded to come almost off of her! Yep Haley flashed the entire crowd within 30 minutes of leaving port. Without having 1 drink. Haley, being a great sport let Mitch try again and they did the move perfectly much to the delight of the crowd. That broke the ice. Soon the whole family was down dancing.

We were laughing and having a great time!

You know we are all having a great time when Andrew is even dancing!

Not to mention Mom!Then the DJ asks for a volunteer to sing "Sweet Caroline"! And who volunteered. B. Rad. He did really well and then ... he forgot the words so he made up his own! Hilarious! Not to mention a huge sign of things to come.
The tipsy people loved us. I guess because it was just us and them out there having fun! Here is one of our friends. We called him "Kansas" the entire cruise because he is from Kansas. He loved Sara! So at some point while we were dancing with Kansas the DJ asked Mitch where we were from. Mitch told him and a moment later he announces "We would like to give a big welcome to our group from UTAH!" A flabbergasted Kansas turns to Brad and asks the natural follow up question "Mormons?" Brad nods and then Kansas yells to his sister "Jacqui! They let the Mormons out!" Classic. We had a good time with Kansas.
Soon after the man in the blue hat came up to Mom and asked if we were LDS. He and his wife, son and daughter-in-law became our cruise friends. They were from Idaho and were LDS also. We saw a lot of them since they were on 3 of the 4 same excursions that we were on.
Then we had this man and his darling wife come dance with us for a while. They were from Canada. We know this because he yelled it at us several times! We never learned his name but we saw him often and of course we yelled "Canada" and he would return with a big "UTAH". I have never been known as a state before. It was fun.
We decided to go explore the ship. Here we are posing up on deck 13.
Deck 13 is also the running track which Dave took advantage of often.

Deck 13 also has a golf simulator. It is nothing compared to Haley's Dads! This was the only time we used it. We took pictures with the sun set in the back ground. Aaaah. Look how cute they are! And look how disturbing they are!
Dave "If you want to kiss in front of the sunset you are going to have to come over here. I'm watching the ocean."
Forward on Deck 11 is the bridge.
We had the mandatory Life Boat Drill. Look at the 1st class life boat! They have plush seating!
Steerage met in a bar. I think they ran out of lifeboats and just hoped we would drink so much we wouldn't realize that the ship was sinking. Lucky for us it was just a drill. After the drill we went and changed and then headed to the Stardust Theater to see Sharkbait. Here we are getting ready for the show to start! These 2 are magicians/jugglers/entertainers. The way they juggled was magic and it was quite entertaining. I guess they did their job! We headed off to dinner and then for our after dinner entertainment we went to the Bliss Ultra Lounge. They were having a Toga party and when we first arrived nobody was wearing a toga but thanks to my 3 darling sister-in-laws they soon became the fashion!Soon we were all decked out in our Toga's! What a great Roman statue this photo would make, eh? We stayed late into the night dancing and laughing and having a grand ole time. It was hilarious to think that we were in a bar, with Mom, in Toga's. Not a typical night in my life. Around the time they felt the need to remind the crowd that clothes were indeed required under the toga's we felt that it was time to leave. We are pretty intuitive that way. We wandered up to the bow of the ship and enjoyed the beautiful cool breeze after our warm toga workout! We are all a bit pink cheeked. They had heated sheets for the togas. Very warm. And so ended the 1st day of the cruise.

I'm workin on it!

2010-02-25T10:23:00.000-08:00

Dear Tricia,

I really appreciate the comments and numerous phone calls and text messages telling me in not so patient terms how much you are looking forward to the post of Day #2 of our trip.

Although the names you called me are not Mom approved.

I have a few things to say.

First of all cutting down over 2000 pictures takes a little while.
Second, you were on the trip. You can't possibly have forgotten everything already.
Third, you can take my advice and get a blog of your own.

So back off sister. ha-ha. Funny.

Love, Kelli

PS She didn't really call me bad names Mom.
PSS If you aren't nice to me I am honestly going to post the video of you singing "Yellow Submarine" while skipping around and scaring the poor elderly ladies into singing along! This is the preschool teacher in you. "So we sailed up to the sun"

Vacation of a Lifetime (VoaL) Day #1

2010-02-16T07:35:00.000-08:00

Now, lest I have a massive revolt of my 4 loyal readers I am only going to hit the highlights of each day. Please realize these are highlights according to moi so other travelers may disagree but really they can get their own blogs.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Travel Day
What was on the itinerary:Fly from SLC to Houston, fly from Houston to Miami, check in to the hotel, get some sleep.

What actually happened:
Left late because Tricia had to go to the bank to get more money for her "Buy Shoes in Every Port" fund.
Allison informed us all that she planned on doing genealogy while on the cruise. Not in the top 10 most likelies to do on a cruise. At least not in my book. Or any other travel book.

Arrived in Houston.Here is what happened there that I thought was noteworthy.

After landing we taxied over a freeway. I thought that was strange.
Andrew was born in Houston. He lived there for 3 MONTHS and then we moved and he has never been back. Upon arrival at the Houston airport he announced "It is good to be home!" He continued through the airport telling us all about how the airport has changed so much since he left. It was bigger and there were many new concourses that he observed. His wife was not amused. The rest of us were.
Since Andrew was a native we had him translate whenever someone from Texas spoke to us. Honestly there were times he couldn't understand them despite it being his home turf.
Jenn had a cookie and a pretzel for dinner. The posters hanging in front of the booths looked good to her. She was sorely disappointed. I had a Greek Salad that was really tasty. So tasty I went back on the return trip a week later. They didn't remember me though. odd.
We had to walk to the furthest possible gate from where we started. I think it was like Gate X509.
Walking through the airport was another reminder of how competitive my family can be because the airports has the moving sidewalks and of course it had to be a race between people to see if standing on the moving sidewalk was actually faster than walking at a brisk pace (ie jogging). This happened several times. (We walked a long way remember)

Left Houston for Miami

Houston did not like how I had packed my bag. So picture this. A long line at security and me at the front of the line laying on my bag trying to close a stupid zipper. I already knew it fit but apparently Mr. I don't speak your language Texan Security Guy didn't care. (Andrew did try to translate)
In flight entertainment...
Andrew sitting next to a Loud Talker the entire flight. We thought she was hilarious talking at the top of her lungs. The best was she talked on her cell phone before we took off and after we landed. Loudly. "WELL, WE HAVE LANDED. (pause) NO. WE ARE STILL IN THE PLANE. (pause) WHAT? (pause) NO WE HAVE LANDED BUT I HAVEN'T GOT OFF THE PLANE YET." Apparently she doesn't quite know how to use her phone so she kept asking Andrew to redial for her. It was hilarious. However after the flight we heard from Andrew and Jenn that it was horrible because she had a severe case of halitosis. It made Andrew want to pass out!
We also had a large group of soon to be cruisers in front of us who proceeded to get somewhat drunk a little sooner than most cruisers. They were obnoxious and loud and we spent most of that flight hoping and praying that they weren't on the same cruise as us.

Arrival in Miami

Got on the shuttle to our hotel and the driver stopped at a second group to tell them he would be back for them in a few minutes. IT WAS THE DRUNK GROUP FROM OUR FLIGHT! They were now following us to the same hotel. This did not bode well.
We checked into our lovely hotel. We had a suite. It was sweet.
We met up with Brad, Sara, Mitch and Haley who had arrived the day before us. They were just coming in from a Coke run. Apparently the cruise only offers Pepsi products and so Brad bought about 6 cases of Coke Zero. When those 4 came walking in the lobby with several cases it looked like they were heading of to a really tame and sugar free kegger.
We heard of a funny story about how Mitch and Haley couldn't check in because their room was under Brad's name and they weren't with Brad. The clerk was a trainee and kept answering the phone instead of helping them and Mitch finally lost patience and used a very bad word. Like *$%@ type words. It became a big joke to us so if you ever hear of us saying "I'm going to go all trainee on you!" You now know what we mean. It is similar to going postal. Minus the killing. Here is a picture of the actual lobby where Mitch went all trainee! Poor little trainee.
We arrived at about 11:00 at night so the plan as you may recall was to get some sleep. Instead we arranged to meet at the hot tub. So Brandon apparently was already a bit woozy from the rocking of the ship ( I know we weren't actually on the ship yet but he needs an excuse of some kind). He was so woozy from the rocking that en route to the hot tub he fell into the pool. The pool was not heated. It was freezing cold. So the hot tub felt great to all of us coming from 25 degree weather people but it felt especially good to Brandon.
We eventually headed to our rooms where Dave and I overheard first a rather candid, enlightening and altogether TMI coversation regarding the condition of one of my brothers bowels. Not a good way to end the first day. But we did laugh a lot.